Color of Love

Maybe I Was Wrong

The next morning, Jade invited me over, but when I got there, she wasn't there. "I had to run to the store," she told me, "But Jared is there. There's a code to my garage on the side, two-seven-nine. Just go in and tell him you're taking him to get some breakfast."

"What do I get him? Is he vegetarian too?" I asked her. Anytime she cooked for us, it was of course things she could eat, but I didn't know if Jared was allowed the children luxuries of things like chicken nuggets.

"No, Linnea. And he likes bacon."

As I typed in the code to her garage, I made a confused face, "So, get him bacon? From?"

I heard her sigh in irritancy, "I'm not in the mood to play twenty questions with you. Get him a bacon sandwich and call it a day. I'll be home in like thirty minutes."

"A bacon sandwich? They sell those?"

"Linnea, he's four. He calls everything a sandwich. You know like a cheese sandwich is a grilled cheese?" I could hear the attitude coming along in her voice. I wanted to argue that a grilled cheese never had more on it than cheese, but to eat only bacon between two slices of bread was weird, but I decided to keep the comment to myself.

"Alright, alright," I told her as I walked inside. And with that, she hung up.

When I walked inside, Jared came bouncing into the kitchen. "You're not my Mommy, Nea. Where is she?" he asked hesitantly.

"I'm not sure, but she wants me to get you some food. Are you hungry?" I asked him. He nodded and rubbed his stomach. "Come on. Put your shoes on." He scrambled towards me and slid on some little flip-flop sandals that were by the door. I made sure he was all strapped up in my car and then drove as carefully as I could with Jade's precious cargo in my back seat.

"Your mom says you want a bacon sandwich?" I asked as I glanced into the rearview mirror to see him staring out the window. He just ignored me, so I just went on and pulled up to the closest little fast food chain I could.

"Ooh! I want bacon!" he decided to talk to me.

"I know, a sandwich right?"

"Yes!" Jared sang enthusiastically.

I didn't know what a bacon sandwich was so I ordered him a plain bacon biscuit and an orange juice.

"Do you want any hash browns? They're potatoes – like French fries," I asked before I pulled off.

I could see Jared shake his little head and frowned, "No, I don't like potatoes." That was odd, but I didn't press it. I gave him his biscuit sandwich and juice and headed back to Jade's house. When I got back, there were crumbs everywhere in my back seat and about three-fourths of the biscuit itself.

"All you ate was the bacon?" I asked him as he hopped out.

Jared nodded proudly, "Yup. I don't like that bread."
What the heck. I was confused. "Well are you full?" Again, he nodded and sipped on the last of his juice. I opened the garage for him so he could head in. Jade's car was there, so she was back earlier than I anticipated. I watched him head inside and then brushed as many crumbs and bread off the seat and floor of my car out as I could.

Once inside, Jade was in the kitchen looking impatient. She asked, "What'd you get him?"

"A bacon sandwich...well biscuit, like you said."

"And what else?" she pressed.

I cocked my brow in confusion, "Uhh, that's it. I asked you what he liked, and you said bacon. He said he didn't eat potatoes. And he really only ate the bacon. He said he doesn't like the bread of the biscuit."

Jade rolled her eyes, "Congratulations. Jared just played the hell out of you. Why the hell did you think it was okay for him to only have bacon for breakfast? Are you trying to give him a heart attack at four?!"

I frowned, "In my defense, I don't eat anything for breakfast, so at least it's something. Also, I asked you what to get him and you told me a bacon sandwich."

Jade was going off, "You could have got him some fruit, a yogurt, but just bacon? And you ought to be stupid to believe that a four year old doesn't eat potatoes. He'll eat fries all day long! And who eats a plain biscuit? Not me. No cheese, no egg, no jelly."

"My. Bad!" I apologized again.

She shook her head at me, "This is what I mean I can't be dealing with someone as young as you. You aren't ready to have a kid."

"Jade, I asked you. I'm sorry. Do you want me to go get something else for him?"

"No, no, you're good. I'm not mad," she said although she clearly was, "I just know what not to ask you for again."

I rolled my eyes and looked away. "Well now I know for future reference," I mumbled.

My boss snorted, "Whatever, Linnea. It's good. Jared's happy with all that grease in his stomach so you're fine."

"You just keep going," I said in disbelief. "I get it. It's unhealthy. I should've gotten him a fruit cup or forced the potatoes down his throat. I got it."

Jade gave me a harsh glance, "Look, I appreciate it. Thanks okay?" Then she walked over and hugged me. Of course, it alleviated all of the frustration I felt in that moment because anything she did made me happy, "I just know to be more specific with you."

---

Every morning when I woke up, I was eager to get to work and see Jade. Each time, she acted so excited and surprised when I brought her coffee as if I hadn't the days before. And then before I would head out to do my work, she would make sure no one was looking and sneak a kiss to my cheek.

Oh, and I of course went over to her place throughout the week. Wednesdays were a guarantee for some reason. That was usually when I stayed the longest and we would watch movies.

Sometimes Jared was there and other times he wasn't. Sometimes he talked and played with me, other times he'd just giggle from a distance and act like he'd never seen me. Jade was always attentive to him though. Even though she talked to me a lot, she always had an eye or ear out for him and of course spoiled him with whatever he wanted.

I often saw Jade's eyes flicker. I'd look and they'd be grey and then the next a faint shade of what I learned was green. It wasn't vibrant, but it was definitely there. "You're just forcing it," Jade would tell me, "Trust me; that color stuff isn't real. You think you see it because you're thinking too hard into it."

"But you partially believe in it," I pointed out, "You told me that the first evening we went out."

Jade shook her head, "It's science. There's exceptions to it all because science is just a theory. So what? They isolated the gene that allows us to see color to only be turned on with excessive feeling and emotion, but I believe that you can force it. You can feel strongly about anyone besides your soulmate. And what if there's a defect so that even if you are crazy in love, it never turns on? For that reason, it's all bullshit to me.

"I could tell Jared the sky is yellow or that water is red and he would believe me. Want to know why? Because I'm his mom and kids will listen to whatever their parents tell them. And they'll grow up believing it," she told me once. "You could be saying my eyes are green when really they're purple!"

Now that, she was good at: shutting me down. Anytime I thought we were connecting, she would throw it in my face how young I was or that I was freshly out of college and hadn't seen the real world or most frequently, that I didn't know what love was and certainly had no idea what I was seeing. Even though I would it her off, I was sure that what I was seeing wasn't the dull grey I'd seen my entire life. When I was with her, something was different, from the feeling I felt to the way her eyes looked – I was sure of that.