If You Fall

Thirty Four

TW Self harm/cutting/scars discussion/details

Later that night I asked him. "What's the deal with you and Joey? 'Cause, uh, bad vibes galore."

We were in bed, and he sighed so hugely it was almost comical. "I do not trust him," he said, his accent pronounced.

"You sound very French," I murmured, and he elbowed me.

"And I never have," he continued. He reached for his cigarettes and lit one, going to the window to pull it up a few inches. I admired the view but averted my eyes as he returned and got back under the blankets. "He left me in Rio in a very dangerous place. I do not believe he tried very hard to find me." He caught my eyes, and held my gaze. "He's said some very disturbing things to me about women. I think there is something wrong with him that he keeps hidden deep inside. Be very careful around him, please."

Well, that would do it. "Damn," I said feebly.

He sighed again. "He was also with our friends when they were captured, six months ago, and then eventually killed. By the same man who caught me. And he was with them. He was supposed to be their lookout. But he came back, he had weak details, he was lying!" He was getting riled up and I wished I hadn't brought it up. "He was lying."

"Kick back," I said, putting my hand on his arm. "I believe you."

This soothed him a little. "Well, they don't. They think I am overreacting. They believe him. And I do not." He glanced at me. "It's not a pissing match, either, as Ari calls it. I couldn't care less what he does. I just don't want to risk any more of our lives on a dishonorable lying coward."

"Fightin' words," I said softly, but I got the point. "It seems like they listen to you about most things?"

He smoked, thinking. "They do. And that's what bothers me. Because my instincts are right. But they are blinded." He shrugged and made a face. "Joey is Malone's nephew, by blood; her sister's kid. She's had him since he was four. So he can do no wrong." His voice was sarcastic.

"Great, and he's got a thing for Bells." Of course.

"I think if she doesn't let her life depend on him, she'll be okay," he said dryly. "Hopefully he'll be done here soon and can go away again, back to Malone."

"Yeah, can't be any worse than Randy," I agreed, yawning.

"I wouldn't be so sure about that." He reached to push the last of his cigarette into a soda can and waved the smoke around. "I should not subject you to this secondhand cancer. Anyway, I do not care what he does, as long as he keeps his eyes and hands off of you," he said dismissively.

I don't know how he could have missed my Cheshire Cat grin at those words.

The hot tub was set up, filled, and heated by the following evening. It was Christmas Eve and all of us but Don were getting in. It had originally presented a problem because I wasn't ready for them to see my scars from cutting. But it was dark, and I wrapped a towel around my waist, taking it off with my back to them as I got in first. The fact that they were on the inside of my thighs made it easier.

Arianna didn't bother hiding hers, wearing a yellow two piece with a halter top. The bullet wound was just a scab now, the skin around it a little puckered and strange looking. 

The cutting marks extended from her belly button down into her suit bottom, and resumed again where it ended. Rows and rows of thick, jagged lines marched up and down her thighs, definitely not made with a razor.