If You Fall

Thirty Eight

I had to talk about it all with Don the next day in his room/office, and refused to allow Reed to accompany me while I did that ugly chore. Arianna, however, insisted on being there, and I let her.

I told Don what happened, leaving out nothing. When I was done he sighed deeply, and was obviously hugely troubled. "I know it's terribly inadequate, Addy, but I'm so very sorry. I can't tell you how sorry. Here we yank you out of your normal life, involve you in all this, and then fail to keep you safe in our very own safe house." He shook his head. "Of course, we believe you. Of course. We're dealing with him quite seriously, regardless of to whom he's related."

I didn't have a lot of interest in his apologies, because they meant nothing even if they were well intended. Instead I could only think of one thing. "Tell him," I said to Arianna.

I was surprised when she ducked her head, embarrassed. "Feel free."

I looked back at Don, who was waiting with his hands tented. "He's, you know, been with her 'Vixen' alter or whatever," I said, which was as simply as I could put it. "She thinks. Without her knowing."

His eyes, so sad. He looked at her. "Ari, honey? Why didn't you tell us?"

Her eyes were darting all over. I started to say something but he shook his head minutely at me. "She didn't know," the Narrator answered with satisfaction. "And you didn't want to know."

He took this without comment, only closing his eyes briefly before giving her his steady, almost hypocritically-caring gaze once more.

"Happened eleven times over the years, if anyone's wondering. First time when we were twelve." She laughed, a joyless noise. "Of course, that's not counting the blow jobs."

I looked at him, willing him to say the right thing. If Reed knew . . . I shook my head to get rid of the thought, because he couldn't know.

"Honey," he said, anguished. "I'm so sorry."

"Well, that's more than most adults can offer," she said pleasantly. "Also, the honey thing can wait until Arianna's back, s'il te plait." She pulled out her cigarettes and lit one, drawing in the smoke with satisfaction. "I mean, don't get all crazy about it. She truly doesn't care. Trust me, I know. It's not like she was even there. And Vixy, she doesn't care, either. Being a receptacle is old hat for her. He learned a magic little three word phrase, guaranteed to bring out the Vix every time."

"I want you," I echoed him, thinking of the expectant way he'd said it.

She looked at me, impressed. "That's the one," she said. "You're a clever girl, aren't you. You know, when I came here, there was a 'two people with Ari' rule in full effect at all times, because even at ten Vixy loved to pop out at inappropriate times and do and say such inappropriate things." She giggled and smoked. "I may have had something to do with some of that, actually. But I digress. All we knew was fucking and fear, and someone like ya boy picked up on that pretty fast."

I thought Don was going to have a heart attack. He was sweating and having trouble breathing. The shock was a little much for him. "Don't die," I said, way more flippantly than I meant it to sound.

He took a deep breath, drank some water from a bottle. "I had no idea. Dear God, I don't know what to say. I've failed you completely as a parent."

She laughed out loud. "It's not about you, Don. And don't flatter yourself that you were ever a parent to any of us." She stood up and tossed her hair back over her shoulder. "Don't feel bad. I mean, you do get props for never trying anything yourself." She winked at me, opened the bedroom door, and was gone.