Falling From Life

1

                 I roll my eyes as get I to the top of the stairs. "Yeah, yeah, Sarah, I get it, don't go out and make a "mistake" like you did when you were my age. I know. Believe it or not I have a brain."

                 I grab my coat at the bottom of the stairs as the woman who is biologically my mother starts speaking to me. "Stephanie Moon, you worthless piece of shit, come back here and talk to me right!" I pull my coat on and wrap a scarf around my neck then I look up the stairs to where she managed to move her drunken, swaying body.

                "Don't even pretend that you think I'm your daughter."

                 "Unfortunately, I know you are." I turn and open the front door, pulling on a hat as she speaks, then slam it shut behind me. 

                I stand outside in the cold winter air collecting my thoughts before I start my walk to Viviann's house, my best friend of twelve years. I finally calm myself enough to start on the 20 minute walk to her place. 

               My mother, Sarah Moon, hates me. People always tell me that she has a hard way of showing her affection but, in reality, she blames me for ruining her life. It was her own dumb decisions that led us to where we are now but, then again, good choices have never seemed to take with her.

               She went to prom with her high school boyfriend at the time when she was sixteen. Michael... He helped bring me into this world and drugged his own way out of it. He refused to marry Sarah after she had me when she turned seventeen. He didn't want a kid, instead, he ended up taking his life with vodka and Xanax. He was found passed out in his bathroom, and the doctors couldn't revive him.

                She blamed me for killing "the love of her life" when it was really her fault for pushing him on things that neither of them were ready for. Sarah has never shown me any affection as a mother, or anything really, unlike how she treats my sisters. Sort of.

               Silver and Shaylee are twins born when Sarah "had a little more common sense" as she likes to say. She had a one night stand with a guy who was just using her to cheat on his wife and yet, she loves them unconditionally. When she remembers they exist. I feel more like a mother to them since most nights she's too busy drinking to think of anyone but herself... And her "urges". Typical.

                 As I walk down the sidewalk I put in my earbuds and hit play on my phone. Jekyll and Hyde by Five Finger Death Punch starts blaring and I keep my hands in my pockets to keep them out of the cold.