Falling From Life

6

Stephanie's nightmares are really vivid, just a warning. There will be a few of them within the story and they'll get worse every time. They explain more of her past to show you how she got to where she is today. -s
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            Viviann and I stand in her bathroom, I brush my teeth while she brushes her hair. I put my toothbrush up while rinsing my mouth. Neither of us say anything. We both lay down in her queen size bed and say goodnight to each other.

            She falls asleep almost instantly like she normally does while I stare at the ceiling. I start thinking about what tomorrow could bring and how everything might go over. Eventually I doze off.

             At eight years old Sarah is standing over me. She's holding some rocks. I'm crying. Scared. Why am I so sore? She started to throw rocks at me so I cover my face out of instinct.

             "If it weren't for you, I'd be happy! I'd have my lover! I wouldn't have to fucking deal with you! You take up my space and my air and my money! You're worthless! Anyone who says they care about you is a fucking liar!"

              She kept on throwing rocks at me. They hurt. I'm bruised and bloody. She's crying. She blames me for Michael. I think she's drunk. I start to cry harder.

             "Shut up you weak little bitch! Shut the fuck up!" She throws a rock harder to emphasize her point. Then she was out. I can't stop crying. I want to leave. She grabs the nearest pillow, "I swear if you dont shut the fuck up!"

              She pushes me onto my back and puts the pillow over my face. She holds it there screaming at me until it got hard to breathe. Why doesn't mommy love me? Why can't I do better? What am I doing wrong? She's trying to kill me, she doesn't want me here. I want to give into the dark that shows up in the vision. I'll just take a nap. My body is still.

                I sit up suddenly and realize I've been crying. I have to steady my breathing and eventually get out of bed to walk around. I'm shaking and sweating so I go into the bathroom, as I do so, I look at the alarm clock. 4:27 am. We have to be up in two hours. I grab a washcloth and put cold water on it. I walked downstairs, sit in one of the recliners, and lean back, putting the cold washcloth on my face. I end up falling back into a dreamless sleep. Thank god.

              I wake up to Trinitee gently shaking me. "Hey sweetie," she looks concerned, "Gotta get ready for school." I nod and slowly get up from the chair. I head up to Viviann's room to get clothes. I pull out a dark grey holey sweater and black jeans. I pulled those on and did my best to cover my bandage with my hair. Once I was happy with it I do my makeup, a black and grey smokey eye with black eyeliner with a dark red lipstick to finish. I grab my messenger bag backpack, a dark red scarf, and my long white coat. When I have all that I grab my combat boots and head downstairs. I notice Viviann was ready so I pull my shoes on. Al must have taken the girls to school and went to work. We give Trinitee a hug and get into Viviann's pre-heated car.

               "You wanna drive?" She asks me.

               "Hell no." We laugh and she leaves the driveway.