Falling From Life

12

           We stare at each other for a minute before I can even form words. "Oh my god, I'm sorry."

          "I cant say I'm over it exactly, but I feel like he'd want me to be ok with it, so I can handle it." His eyes look sad, but he seems chill.

          "Do you mind if I ask about him?" He smiles.

          "Please do."

          "What was his name?"

          "Austen Gilbert Lanigan."

          "What'd he look like? What was he like?" He pulls a picture out of his wallet of what looked like a young Mark standing next to a shrunken young Mark.

          "He looked a lot like me, as you can see, but he ended up dying his hair purple and he was three years younger. He was one of the wildest kids you could've ever met, but he was also one of the most loveable dorks there ever was. But he probably got the worse end of dads spectrum than I did, well, obviously." I hand the picture back as he clears his throat, "I'm meaning before that though. Our father was never a fan of rebellion, and I swear that was Austen's middle name."

          I shake my head, "That's terrible, and not to sound like a bitch, but your dad sounds like he deserves to rot in jail." He nods and smiles and soon we start talking about lighter things. He eventually gives me a tour of the house, around the corner from there we are, there was a hallway which had a bathroom in the middle, to the right of the doorway was his dads room which is now his guest room, and to the left is his room that he used to share. We go back out to the living room and just talk to learn things about each other. Soon he's made snacks and we're laughing because we're talking about elementary school.

          "Y'know, this may be a really weird time to say anything, but I used to have a really, really big crush on you."  I nearly choke on my food this time and he laughs a little.

          "Why?" I laugh nervously so I dont accidentally tell him something I'd regret.

          "I think it was when you beat up Jacob that one time, because he was flirting with Viviann, I know you guys are like sisters, and I always envied the way you would stand up for her, I always found you to be powerful. But we never really talked at all until last year, so I figured I didn't have a chance." He chuckles nervously, "Heh, sorry if I made this awkward now."

          I laugh so suddenly that Onyx perked her ears up. "Are you kidding? Dude I used to practically be in love with you! In fifth grade you were the strongest guy in school, hell you flipped a guy over a table to prove a point!"

           "And both the incidents we just named gave us both detentions!" We laughed slightly harder than before. When we both calmed down enough, he asked, "Would you say your feelings have changed at all?" I look up at him and see him looking down at Onyx to avoid my eyes. When I look down again he adds, "You dont have to answer that, I'm sorry..."

          "No, no, it's ok, and honestly I'm not sure." He finally looks up at me and cocks his head so I continue, "other than my- very small- group of friends, I havent really found anyone I can be really open with like this, and that's really nice, but you're also really sweet and you're funny... oh, god, what am I saying?" He laughs at me.

          "I like where this is going, please, do continue." I smile as my face flushes.

         "Cocky bastard." We laugh, "To be completely honest here, I'm not really sure what actual love is, except what I have with Viv's family." He nods and smiles.

          "Well what if I told you that my feelings havent changed since then?" I stare at him for a moment.

          "I'd say you're fucking with me."

          "And if I'm not?" My eyes go wide and he laughs a little, "I hope that's not a bad reaction."

          "Not in the slightest." I smile wide at him as I process everything that just happened.