NEPTUNE BURNS

in which you text and i ignore

Keep [delete] this number

I love her, you text me one day and there is this bittersweet feeling of knowing I have lost something and remembering I willingly chose to give it up. There is this bubbling of chocked up sobs and echoed no's and tears falling from happiness [sadness].

I love her but it's not the same way I love you, and why do you do this to me [do you like to hurt me? to feel me crumble to nothing on this floor of unwashed clothes?] do you want me to feel this ache that thrums inside of me like a faucet that just won't fucking close all the way [why can't it turn off? why won't my feelings turn off? why can't I let this go?]

I know it doesn't matter but a part of me wants your permission to be happy, I give you my- [no], why do you even need my- [go away], you don't need- [why her?], yes go on- [you can't move on already], fine [i can't], my permission really doesn't mat- {delete conversation? yes.}

I can't stop from missing you sometimes and I don't know if I will stop, I can push you out of my mind for weeks and when I feel like I am finally ready to move on you text me and suddenly I see you everywhere but it doesn't change anything [i miss you too] people change [call me, I swear I'll answer this time] things happen [we can try again] i can't keep hearing from you I've moved on [its tearing me apart] i don't know if I will ever stop either

{block this number? yes.}

Dedicated to jesperfaheys whose comments prove she really is an angel