06 | Homicidal Reindeer

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ADVENTURES IN BABYSITTING
vi. HOMICIDAL REINDEER

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  "THE CHITAURI ARE COMING

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  "THE CHITAURI ARE COMING. Nothing will change that."

  "Have you looked outside, Mr. Loki? We can clearly see that, asshat," 11-year-old Riley O'Dair sassed with her squeaky voice.

  Tony Stark, stripped of his armor, was standing at the bar from within Stark Towers. Fixing himself a drink, he glanced over his shoulder and said, "Hey, watch your damn mouth, Tink." He leaned against the counter, taking a sip of his alcoholic beverage. "She thinks she's all high and mighty 'cause she graduated high school last year."

  Loki sneered at the tiny hero. "What have I to fear? A Tin-Man and his fetus friend?" Riley stuck her tongue out at the villainous man.

  "The Avengers," Tony simply answered. Loki stared at him, puzzled. "It's what we call ourselves. Earth's mightiest heroes kinda thing."

  "Seriously, get with the program, you homicidal reindeer," Riley chirped from beside Tony. She folded her arms over her chest.

  He shot her a look. "Stop stealing my jokes and making them better, fetus," Tony shot.

  "Fine, Tin-Man," she grumbled before turning herself invisible.

  Loki smirked at Tony. "Yes, I've met your... Avengers."

  Tony nodded. "Yeah. It takes us a while to get any traction, but let's do a headcount here," Tony suggested. "Your brother the demigod, a supersoldier who's a bit of a living legend..." While Loki was turned around, Tony slipped on a pair of silver cuffs. "A man with breathtaking anger management issues, a couple of master assassins, and my personal favorite, the 11-year-old who could kick any of our asses whenever she feels necessary. And you, big fella, have managed to piss off every single one of them."

  "That was the plan."

  "Not a very good plan, if you asked me," Riley squeaked. She could practically feel Tony's eyes on her even though he couldn't see her. "But no one has... so... uh, I'll be over here..."

  Tony walked forward with his drink in hand. "When they come—and they will—they'll come for you."

  "I have an army," Loki threatened.

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