Okay, I kinda had this in my mind and I wanted to write it down. It's the first fantasy thing I've ever written in English so I hope it's okay. Just so you know, I love writing fantasy, I have written many books (even a trilogy) of this genre but it spanish, so probably I will do something like this again.
Maybe some tissues will come in handy.
Dedicated to my little sis Mishal because I promised her to write her something with Louis someday and here it is.
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"A Hug From You"
You look at him and for the first time in months you see his real smile, a sincere one that says he’s having fun and that’s all what you want, all what you need. A smile of your own plays in your lips now and you feel warm for first time in a long time. You feel alive again.
He’s been so low lately, since that day when you two said goodbye he hasn’t smiled like he used to and everyone missed that, not only you. His trademark is his happiness and that contagious smile. When he doesn’t smile everyone is down, everyone is worried. Everyone needs Louis’ cheerful attitude to be completely fine in their chaotic lives. He’s so important for everyone and you hate that it’s your fault he’s been so low lately, but you can’t do anything to change that, even if you want to.
He’s laughing and you feel like finally things are okay, that he will be fine and it’s like someone took a weight off of your shoulders. You feel light again, you feel wonderful. He’s finally moving on, having fun with his best mates again.
All the lads are smiling so proud because, just like you, they feel so happy for Louis, because that one is a real smile, an honest one. He has stopped pretending to be fine. Probably he still misses you and he will do that for a long time. What you two had was something unique, something that not everyone has the privilege to enjoy. You were so lucky, but nothing is forever.
“I really liked that shirt,” Harry moans in a playful tone as he’s the one telling the story of how a fan literally ripped his t-shirt leaving him topless in the middle of the street with hundreds of other crazy fans. That was indeed hilarious when he was telling the story like that.
His laughter is music for your ears and you are surprised that you missed that sound so much, that you were empty without seeing him laughing. You have been watching him the past few months, waiting for this moment when he finally lets go of your memory and starts to live again. After all, it is you the one who left and he has a life ahead in which one you are not allowed anymore.
Slowly, you walk towards him and stop behind him. He doesn’t feel you; he doesn’t see you. Why would him? No one can. But you stand there anyways because you want to hear him better, because you want to see him laughing and having real fun with his best mates.
You are so happy for him.
Tenderly, you wrap your arms around his body, your hands resting over his heart, yet you don’t feel anything. You can’t feel anything. You can’t feel the steady beat of his heart, you can’t feel the warmth of his body, you can’t feel his perfume… you can’t feel him. But you remember how it was to hold him like that, you remember your own heart beating faster when you two touched, you remember the sweetness of his perfume is and it’s almost like you are actually there with him, hugging him, resting your chin on his shoulder, your cheek against his.
“I miss you, Lou,” you whisper but he can’t hear you. He doesn’t feel you either. “You need to be happy, you need to move on,” you keep talking even though you know he’s not listening, but you do it anyways. Maybe your words can get to him somehow.
There’s always hope.
“You’ll find another girl and she will love you as much as I do. She will make you happy, she’ll be with you while I can’t. I don’t want you to mourn me forever, I don’t wanna stop you. I want you smiling like this all the time.”
You can’t cry but if you could, you’d be crying a river in that moment. It doesn’t hurt really, it can’t hurt because you are nothing more that a ghost there, whispering into the ear of your boyfriend, the one who’s living whilst you had to go. He is there and you’re not. You can’t feel anything but anyway, your chest feels heavy, almost like when you were alive.
You still remember how it was when you were alive, you still remember all the symptoms of a heartache, of missing, of wanting someone so bad that your whole body hurts. You remember all that and whilst you are there, hugging him, you remember how it was and it’s awful, but for a second you feel alive again.
“I’ll be always with you, Lou, but I don’t wanna stop you from living. I died, not you. You survived for a reason and even if I’m not with you anymore, you have to carry one,” you whisper and your voice breaks at the end.
Suddenly, he starts to shake almost imperceptibly and you look at his beautiful blue eyes and see a small and crystal tear running down his cheek. His eyes are lost into the nothingness. He’s not paying attention to what Harry is saying and it’s almost like he’s listening to you.
“Scarlett,” he whispers ever so low that if you hadn’t been there, you wouldn’t have heard him.
“Louis,” you whisper back wanting to cry desperately. “Please, live. Live for you and for me. Someday I’ll see you again and I want you to tell me you lived your life to the fullest. Please,” you are begging and your voice is shattered, but if he’s somehow listening, you need him to understand this. “Be happy.”
Another tear streams down his face and for once you are grateful you’re dead because otherwise you’ll be crying like a baby in that moment. “Boo-bear?” Harry asks getting close to Louis and putting his hand on the other shoulder of your boyfriend. “You okay?”
Louis shakes his head before focusing on Harry again. He seems like he doesn’t recognise what’s happening and it takes him a couple of seconds to pull himself together, but when he does, he smiles brightly and honestly. “I’m okay, mate,” he replies and you laugh oh so happy.
He has listened to you. Somehow he has done it, your words reached him and you know he’ll be right, he’ll be fine.
You pull away with an immense smile on your face and your whole body lighter. You don’t know where you have to go now, but you know you’ll still be watching him, seeing him being happy. That’s all what you need and you know you’ll have it.
Louis is strong.
“I love you, Louis,” you say one more time before slowly fading away.
