EPIC (Book 1 of the Soundcrush series)

Chapter 4: Rock Stars Are Cocky Bastards

Trace

I'm sitting in the talent dressing room, waiting my turn for the stylist to touch us all up. Mac takes the most time, then Leed. I don't know why they bother with the rest of us, we sweat off all the makeup halfway through the set.

I'm working the stress ball I keep in my pocket on show days. It's just to warm my fingers up for the show, not for stress. I don't have a care in the world right now, because Kat is coming to the show.

I don't even care that the limo is stuck in traffic, which means Kat isn't going to get here early. She may not even get here by the time we are supposed to take the stage. It doesn't matter if I don't see her before. It doesn't matter that she's bringing the boyfriend. It doesn't matter that she's warring with herself over whether or not to be mad at me. All that matters is she took my call, and she got in the limo.

Lead and Mac, being Atlantans and siblings, are arguing about whether the driver should have taken GA 400 versus coming straight down 85.

"Screwed either way," I say cheerfully as I take my turn in the stylist's chair and sip a water. "They'll get here when they get here." No point in worrying about the delay that the fight over me sending the limo caused. I just hope Kat is enjoying her limo pre-party. I hope the boyfriend isn't being pissy and messing up her good time.

"Christ, can you show a little urgency?" Leed asks. "I'm more excited to see Little Sister than you are. I'm the one that sings about her blood and my soul every night. What do you think, Trace, how will she want it? Should I sing it like I'm a vampire? Or what it's really about?"

"Fuck if I know, I was high when I wrote that shit. Take a Twitter poll," I suggest and the room erupts in laughter.

I was not high when I wrote Little Sister, but I never get too deep with anyone about the lyrics. The only person that could ever compel me to a serious discussion about what I was feeling when I wrote Little Sister is on her way here in a limo.

I always flat-out refuse to confirm theories about the song meaning in interviews. You make one reference to spilling blood and people can't help themselves...they want the dirt. Interviewers often get blunt and ask me if the song is about domestic violence, or kinky shit, or the most common inquiry: if it's a song about taking a girl's virginity. That's what Leed thinks the song is about, for sure. He can think what he wants. So can everyone else. Lyrics are meant to be interpreted in different ways by different people. That's the beauty of song.

All the speculation about the song doesn't bother me, but I do wish Leed would stop attaching Kat to the song in front of a roomful of industry types. Soundcrush's team is loyal, but this is our hometown and we've given out alot of backstage passes, plus there's some press here. This is hardly a private space, and Kat has never publicly been associated with the song. It's on the tip of my tongue to ask Leed not to mention Little Sister to Kat, but part of me thinks that if I did, he would do exactly the opposite.

This isn't about Kat, this is about me and him. He likes to fuck with me sometimes. The band still hasn't quite recovered from the schism that Mac and Adam's hook-up caused. Don't get me wrong, we love each other, but Leed is still bitter that I didn't tell him right away, when I found out about his sister and our bass player. But it wasn't my business. Just like what's between me and Kat isn't his, even though he sings the song I wrote about her.

Kat and I have never talked about the song. I'm sure she knows it's about her, and I'm also sure she understands the different levels on which I meant the lyrics. But I wonder if other people in Kat's world know she's Little Sister. I wonder if she gets asked the same kind of questions I get asked in interviews. There were alot of people at that New Year's party that might have wondered what went on between us that night. Maybe between the drama that people saw that night and the drama they infer from the lyrics of Little Sister...it's possible Kat took some static, socially. I heard from my mom she switched schools her junior year. There were other good reasons she might have done this, after what happened with Ashlynn, but maybe it has to do with the song.