EPIC (Book 1 of the Soundcrush series)

Chapter 38: Rock Stars Will Kill You First

This chapter is dedicated to MikaelsonTargaryen because she left a comment to the last chapter with the question--"What is Kat thinking?" I realized that the chapter I had originally planned to follow Chapter 37 jumps right back into the action with nearly the whole cast of characters. I wasn't really giving proper space to explore Kat's private pain. So I stayed up late last night writing this little weekend-bonus chapter to insert in the already written story, to answer MikaelsonTargaryen's question. Girl, this chapter is literally for you--thanks for the feedback! I think this chapter really makes the story better!

Kat

I lay on the bed, forcing my eyes to stay shut to hold back tears, my heart pounding, my thoughts in a hellish loop of comprehension.

Trace is married. To Ashlynn.

Trace is married to Ashlynn.

Married. Married. Married.

Then, I hear Trace's words over and over.

Ashlynn...I took her to Vegas.

Two years ago today.

I support her.

I did it to protect her.

I've tried to tell you so many times.

He did. He tried to tell me. He kept bringing her up over and over. Every time he said her name, there was a dread at the bottom of his voice, a slowness in the sound of her name on his lips, like there was something he didn't want to say.

Deep down, I knew there was something deeper down.

I tried to ignore it, but I knew.

Married. Married. Married.

Two years exactly. How many days? Seven hundred thirty days. Seven hundred thirty days they've shared a life.

Not a bed, he says. But that doesn't matter. Trace has already told me, sex is just sex to him; he's fucked a hundred girls, most of whose names he probably doesn't remember or maybe never even knew.

And now he's married to my sister, and he can't make me believe that doesn't mean anything to him. I know him, down to his bones. He's intense. He feels deeply. He's loyal. That commitment means something to him, because he lived through his own family imploding inside a commitment his parents probably should have walked away from, but couldn't.

Trace would want to do marriage better than his parents. He would want to do it right.

Seven hundred thirty days, Ashlynn has had his vow. Seven hundred thirty days he's kept his commitment. Seven hundred thirty days, he's tried to offer her his protection. Seven hundred thirty days they've shared a partnership so much deeper than the childhood silliness Trace and I had. Seventy hundred thirty days, they've kept this secret from me.

I used to know all Trace's secrets. Even the ones about his father, that he wouldn't tell me in words. I just knew somehow.

But I couldn't see this secret.

Married. Married. Married.

Why couldn't I see?

Because it's been nine hundred fifty two days since Trace walked away from me and left me standing in the sleet. And it was nine hundred forty eight days that I didn't hear from him. Nine hundred forty eight days that Trace and I were strangers, while most of that time he and my sister have been husband and wife. Nine hundred forty eight days that I was hollow, waiting, wishing, and coping alone, snapping that rubber band.