Falling Hard

Right Way To Be Gay

Brandon's mom was more of a mess than I was. Her eyes were red and she had tissues sticking out of her jacket pockets. She had the first aid kit on the counter beside her and was putting cream on the bruise on my cheek.

"We can take him to court, Angelo. They won't take lightly of him hitting you." She said softly, offering me a smile.

"I'm not taking my dad to court." Taking my dad to court would only hurt Clara and my mom. I couldn't do that to them. I wasn't sure how they would even feel. Would they hate me too?

"You can stay here, Ang. We have plenty of room for you." Brandon said, resting his chin on my shoulder.

"Thanks." I mumbled, staring down at my hands in my lap.

Brandon's mom stepped back and squeezed my knee. "It'll be okay, sweetheart."

"What am I supposed to do about school and stuff? Doesn't he have to sign off on stuff? Or my mom?"

"I'll forge it." Brandon offered.

His mom glared at him. "I'll take care of all of that."

I jumped up straighter and looked back at Brandon. "I left my French book in my room. Shit. How am I supposed to study for my exam-"

"I'll talk to the school and get you a new one." His mom said reassuringly.

"You're not going to tell them what happened?" I knew the administration wouldn't blab about what happened but I hated people knowing my business.

"I'll try not to."

Brandon jumped to his feet and stretched his arms over his head. "Come on. Let's go play some video games."

I groaned as I followed him out of the kitchen. I only felt like crawling into a ball and dying but I knew Brandon wouldn't let that happen.

His energy must have still been high as he raced from the kitchen to his bedroom. He quickly turned the TV and game system on before collapsing on his bed.

I walked in the room, out of breath from running up the stairs, and sat down on the bed beside him.

He passed over a controller and slid back against his pillows. I joined him and set the controller in my lap as the ads loaded.

"I'm sorry you got caught up in everything." I mumbled, feeling ashamed that my family was so screwed up. He didn't deserve to get pushed around by my homophobic father. Would he not want to be with me over it?

"Don't worry about it. I know you didn't plan for it to happen."

"I thought we were careful. I-I didn't think..."

"We were. Your dad just..."

I sighed. "This isn't fair to you. I can't put you in this position."

He squeezed my hand. "I'm in for the good and the bad. Even if we weren't together."

"Are you okay with all this?" He'd made his mind up suddenly and I wasn't sure he was thinking it through. It was one thing to realize you were gay but to jump into a relationship with your best friend was a step farther than I thought Brandon was at.

He set his controller aside. "All of this makes me nervous. Am I doing this right? Am I... gay enough?"

I laughed. "There's not right or wrong way to be gay. You just are."

"I hate the thought of you with anyone else. I mean, even with Derek. It killed me. Maybe I'm just stupid and jealous and it's isn't validated-"

"It's okay to feel that way." I'd never been jealous of a relationship. Sure I wanted to be happy but I never wanted a relationship to end so I could be happy. I wasn't that type of guy. I knew my boundaries.

"You're not mad at me?"

I let my head fall on his shoulder. "I'm not mad at you, B."

"Do you still wanna play?"

"Can we just watch TV or something?"

He wrapped his arm around me and pulled me close. "Sure."