The Betas Alpha

Chapter 20

Carson^^

Carson's POV

When we woke up again, this time it was to a silent room. Jay had me cocooned in his arms and was purring in content.

"Do you wanna talk about what happened earlier?" I mumbled into his chest.

"Do you?" He pulled away from me slightly to make eye contact.

"I think we should."

"Okay then, we can talk."

The two of us laid there for a few minutes, not knowing who was going to start the conversation.

"I'm sorry I went all alpha male on you, and my parents." Jay began making me frown into his chest.

"You don't need to apologize. It's in your blood to get all touchy at the thought of you not being able to provide an heir."

"But I shouldn't have; I usually have better control over Zander than that. He's extremely agitated lately, and what everyone was saying wasn't helping at all. I do need to apologize for what I was saying after they left, though." I pulled away, when Jay paused, with a confused look on my face.

"The amount of respect I hold for you is astronomical, even before we found out we were mates. And I don't just want you to think that I'm using you for pups-"

"Stop, please. I know what you were saying wasn't fully you, but I'm not against the whole thing." My face was on fire as I admitted that.

"What aren't you against exactly?" Jay's hand came up to pull my chin up. His eyes were dark as I looked into them.

"Being there to provide you a family." Jay's eyes had a dark look in them at my admission. He rolled me under him and put his arms around my head, caging me in.

"It wouldn't just be my family. It'd be yours too, and just letting you know, we'd have the most amazing kids, point-blank." I giggled lightly at his statement.

"Still, I want to be able to give you a family, give us a family." I sighed. I've always wanted a big family, partly due to the fact that I grew up an only child, but I never thought that would be my choice in the end. I never expected to be the one getting pregnant or having the day in when the baby-making factory came to a closing. It just didn't seem realistic, but now...

"Well that won't be happening for a while, so we have all the time in the world to practice." Jay rolled me under him with a blinding smile before placing a kiss on my nose.

— — —

Jay and I hung out for a bit longer before heading downstairs to get some food. Some of the pack moms always make meals for everyone in the packhouse, which includes everyone without a mate who is at least 16; usually, they start moving over around then, but sometimes parents want to keep their kids home for a bit longer. Mine didn't.

"There's pancakes, waffles, toast, oatmeal, and fruit; any preference?" Jay asked me already grabbing two plates and filling one up with carbs upon carbs up carbs; there were a few strawberries breaking it up though.

"Just some fruit. I'm not super hungry right now." He gave me some side-eye but gave in to my request; filling the plate with more fruit than I could possibly eat.

Try, just try. He wants to feed you, like a true alpha. Issac sighed dreamily at the sight of our mate getting our food for us.

I will, but it's hard. I don't want to get bigger, what if he leaves? As much as I tried, self-doubt was truly my biggest fan. Always creeping in even though I never welcomed it with open arms.

He won't, please know and understand that. You're tiny, and anyways, I think he wants you nice and plump for when he gets you pr-

"This good?" Jay cut off my rather blunt wolf, nodding his head down to the plate in his hand that was full of a variety of fruit. I nodded with pink-tinted cheeks as I walked over the drink fridge. Apple juice for Jay because orange juice makes his tongue feel weird and green tea for me.

There were only a few people milling around the kitchen and dining room because it was kinda late in the morning. A few teens were cleaning up the table from the majority of breakfast as Jay and I found two seats and began eating in silence.

Do you want me to finish what I was saying before Jay cut me off being a wonderfully caring mate, or would you die from embarrassment? My shameless wolf questioned; I closed my eyes and took a deep breath as I felt heat race to my face and the tips of my ears.

Please, no. I-that's embarrassing, and you know that. I get that you don't care, but can you at least save me my sanity. I could tell Jay was conversing with Zander by the faraway look in his eyes when I sneaked a peek at him, so I figured it would be okay to keep dealing with Issac.

Oh, come on, sweetie. It is not embarrassing; it's natural, I know for sure the color of my face at this moment was not natural. I bet Zander and Jay talk all the time about seeing their mate pregnant; we will look so cute!!! And when we shift, goodness, Zander will absolutely adore that.

Okay, that is enough for now. I feel like I'm going to have a heart attack. I mean it was true; I don't ever talk or even think about that kind of stuff. It seemed so dirty to me.

Okay, okay, I'll spare you for now. How are you doing? You ready for therapy and getting your diet back on track? I didn't know exactly how to respond to that; on one hand, I was because I was tired of hating myself, but on the other hand, I didn't know if I would be able to fix it. That takes a lot of courage and strength, did I even have it in me anymore?

I think? Quite frankly I don't even know anymore. It just has been this way for so long and I've never had someone there for me like I do now. It has always been me against my battles, but now it was Jay and me against them; the fight seemed a lot less scary with him by my side.

You've always had him. Maybe not in the same way as you do now, but he has always been there for you. The same goes for your dad, Miles, and Will. I get you've always wanted to put on this tough exterior, but sometimes that does a lot more harm than good. Logically, I knew he was right. My dad and I were two peas in a pod when I was younger;  no matter where he was, I was trailing right behind him. I looked up to him more than he ever realized because he was the perfect beta in my eyes; he was everything I wanted to be when I grew up.

Now here I am, grown-up, and I don't think I am half the man he is.

"You done?" Jay broke me out of my thoughts, motioning down to my half-empty plate. I nodded with a slight smile before finishing my green tea and taking my mug to the dishwasher.

"I was thinking maybe going on a run with Miles? Our dads are both on training today, and we all need to talk about what's going to happen with me becoming luna and  Miles moving up to beta," I suggested as Jay and I walked up to our rooms. He nodded as he pulled out his phone to call Miles to meet us as the training grounds.

"Just let me throw my phone in my room and we can head out. Last time I forgot to leave it here, I broke it and was without a phone for a week." Jay chuckled as he held his door open for me; I remember when that happened. We were both 16 and Jay was the most miserable I had ever seen him; his dad had refused to get him a phone again until he proved to be responsible, but his grandma found out and couldn't say no to her grandson.

The two of us quickly changed into basic workout gear before heading hand-in-hand downstairs and to the edge of the forest where we both shifted.

Ready? Jay's voice rang through my mind as the two of us stretched out our wolf forms.

As I will ever be.

Hi everyone, I am hoping to get back into writing, hopefully, but I don't want to make any promises. I hope everyone stays safe and healthy!!

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