Ugly Duckling's Mr. Right

Chapter Five

Chapter Five

                Good morning, Friday. I was still hung over with thoughts of last night. This is really a great morning. I took a bath and proceeded with my other morning rituals. When I finally got tired of looking myself at the mirror, I went outside my room.

                “Good Lord, I thought you got drowned in perfume, Raffie.” My Mother.

                “Ma, do you think it’ll be better if I’d dispose these glasses of mine and opt for contact lenses instead?” I thought of asking this instead of, ‘Ma, do you think I’m pretty?

                “Of course dear, I’ve always thought that those eyeglasses are way too heavy for you. And they do not accentuate the contours of your face.” That’s it. I got my Mom’s blessing. It’s like, yes, you’d get the chance of being called pretty if you’ll stop wearing those.

                Anyway, I thought it was cool. I was very excited of finally getting rid of my eyeglasses, just because Jarred told me I look better without them. I went to the office.

                “Hi, Raffie. What’s up with the smile? Blooming ka ah, uyy..In love?” Mariel interrogated me like Kris Aquino. Oh, no, I can’t let this bimbo ruin my beautiful day. I just smiled and walk past her. I’d have to let it pass unless my day will all be spoiled.

                I glanced at Jarred’s cubicle, it was empty. At this time? It was very unusual for him. Jarred was never late. I started to get worried. I have to find out why Jarred was still not around. I reached for my phone and dialled his number. Ring, ring, ring.

                “Hey Raffie! Why’d you call?” I was relieved to hear his voice on the other line.

                “Uhm, nothing. I was just checking on you. You’re late, aren’t you?” Please tell me you are just late and not absent. Please tell me that you will go to work today.

                “Well, actually I called Boss Rex earlier and told him I can’t make it today. I don’t feel well Raffie.” And then a cough.

                I knew I should be worried! “Oh, are you alright? Why didn’t you go get yourself checked at the hospital?” I couldn’t control the slight shake that came out of my voice.

                “Nah, I’m fine. I just need some rest. Come on, Raf, don’t miss me too much.” I believed he’s okay, because he still got to tease me.

                “Haha. Very Funny.” I sarcastically said. “Get well soon.”

                “Thanks,buddy.” And he hung up.

                Thanks, buddy. It echoed in my head. I don’t know if I’ll be happy or sad about it. Maybe I’ve gone way too much above my limits. Maybe it was too much to think that he likes me, at least at this point of time. It’s still too soon. 

                Sometimes over-anticipation becomes a spoiler. And here I am, staring at the blank distance, a pointless stretch heading towards nowhere. I thought I’d see Jarred today. But oh, I didn’t. I’m such a loser.

                That day rolled up faster than I thought. Probably because I had tons of papers waiting to be read all piled up on my table. And for some good reason, I’ve been pre-occupied enough not to think of Jarred and how frustrated I am for not seeing him today.

                I was never sure about how I did it, but as magical as it seems to appear, I finished reading the papers that day. Maybe it was because I didn’t want to think of Jarred that much. But nevertheless, my day wasn’t complete. I headed home with a heavy heart, and somehow, I was missing the smile I put on yesterday. I realized that Jarred has become one of the reasons for me to smile.

                When I got home, I checked my phone—only to see that no one’s thoughtful enough to text me. I might as well give up the pretensions because there’s only one person whose text messages matter to me now. And he has not sent me even a single Hi. Since we’re friends, and friends give each other a call anytime they feel like giving one, I took the liberty of calling him. I tried reaching his phone twice, but he didn’t answer. I waited until I fell asleep, but he never called me back. My heart was drenched in sorrow. Maybe I was a bit over acting over a phone call, but that’s just how I felt. As early as now, I am sensing of rejection. Here it comes again; I’m at my losing end.

                The next day I woke up early, and I thought of brushing off all the feelings I am harboring for Jarred at the moment. I won’t let love take over my career because I have so many dreams and I want them all to come true. Never mind that I don’t have the love life to die for, at least I am a woman of the world. Miss independent, I thought.

                As soon as I entered the office, I immediately saw Jarred. But I chose not to greet him like I always do. He has his dashing smile ready for me, as I see in my peripheral vision but I just walked past him. I chose to ignore him, as planned. And my gesture sort of bothered him, I know, because he rose from his seat and followed me to my cubicle.

                “Hey, Raf, were you calling me last night? I’m so sorry I was asleep already so I wasn’t able to get it. I didn’t manage to call you back because I got hold of my phone and saw your missed calls quite late. So I thought you were already asleep. Anyway, I know we’ll see each other today. Why were you calling?” Jarred said this whole thing well, that I almost believed him. But in a way, I thought of him as being a gentleman and a good friend, and I know he just want to set up boundaries between him and me as soon as now because he knows that he doesn’t like me and he never would.

                “I just wanted to know if you’re still sick. That’s nothing. Excuse me, I have a lot of work to do.” I turned my back on him and did not say a word. I heard him let out a sigh. And he went back to his table.

“C’mon Raffie, it’s a little late, let’s grab our lunch first.” Jarred said, we usually eat lunch together.

                “You go ahead, I still have to finish this. Boss Rex will be mad at me if I don’t submit these at the end of the day.” I was making up excuses everyday just so we won’t eat lunch together. And with each passing day, it gets harder and harder to think of another excuse. Mine are getting less and less convincing; Jarred seems to not buy them anymore.

                “Raffie, are you avoiding me?” He asked.

                “No. Why would I do that?” I answered, careful not to look at him.

                “Did I do something wrong? Please tell me?” Jarred seems to be puzzled by the way I’ve been acting lately that he just gave me space because he’s thinking I’ve been PMS-ing, but I never treated him better since that phone call fiasco.

                I suddenly felt guilty. I hated myself for being so selfish and not being fair to Jarred. I knew that I’m wrong. I sighed and said, “Look, I’m broke. That’s why I don’t go with you for lunch, I can’t afford your lifestyle!” I was lying, but it sort of worked.

                Jarred smiled. “Well, if that’s the case, then let there be no worries. Today, it’s all on me! C’mon now, I’m starving.”

                Just like that, we held hands and went to the café. I wonder if things will stay this way if he finds out that I am in love with him.