Ugly Duckling's Mr. Right

Chapter Ten

Chapter Ten

                I reached for my phone and dialed Jarred. I couldn’t bear this anymore. By the third ring, he picked up. My heart leaped. I have to get him again.

                “Yes?” A familiar voice answered. It was not Jarred’s—a woman. It’s still familiar though. Like I memorized who the voice was. I could die in surprise.

                “Mariel?” I nervously called out on the other line. As soon as she confirmed, I had no more guts to talk. What’s she doing with Jarred at this godly hour? I glanced at my clock, 6am. Too early for a normal acquaintance. Unless she had been with Jarred the whole time. THE WHOLE TIME, I thought about it….. but since when?

                I flushed red. Of embarrassment or anger, I am not sure of. I dropped the phone and not long after, tears dropped from my eyes also. I lost Jarred. I lost the fight. He’s now with Mariel.

                “I hate to see you like that. Look at you. You’ve evolved, and now you’re back at it again. Devolution, Rafaella. Ang pangit mo na ulit.”

                I hate when my Mom sounds like that. But I knew she was right. I look bloody awful. I never bothered looking at the mirror since time immemorial. I’m always eating happy foods—ice cream, chocolates, doughnuts. And yet I still feel miserable. With that, I gained weight. I personally think I now have close resemblance to a panda. With all these eye bags. I am an ugly, broken hearted girl. So emotional, so disoriented. Sooooo not with Jarred. I cry.

                 I filed leave of absence at the office the day after the call because I can’t stand Mariel. I don’t want to see her face as much as I don’t want to hear things about Jarred and her. My Jarred. Now Mariel’s Jarred.

                “Leave me alone, Mom.” I blurted out.

                My Mom just hugged me. And that’s the thing about my Mom, I could drive everybody off, away from me, but my Mom will be the only person who would stay and be there for me no matter how hard I am to deal with, or how stupid I look.

                “Want more of that?” She pointed at the home made brownies I’ve been munching on. Mom’s so great in baking.

                I handed out the plate to her. “Yes, please.”

                I never really searched for romantic love. I really didn’t care if the romance inside me never flourished, nor did I bother that I was, for most of my life, alone. I didn’t realize how sad I was, nor considered the reality of just how happy I might be –until I met Jarred. Since I had him, my life took on a new turn, suddenly there were bells on a hill, there were birds in the sky, and there was love all around. And with my Jarred totally disappearing from my life, I shut myself out from the whole world. I’ve been miserable, yes, but look, it has been months now. And life, my life has to go on—Rafaella’s life pre-Jarred (or post-Jarred, I suppose so, too.)

                Slowly but, I hope surely, I am eliminating Jarred out of my system. And boy, it is so not easy to do. How could I completely move on if the memories that I had with him basically sums up the happiest moments of my life? Really, I could use some amnesia right now.

                Some time this month, I crossed paths with Mariel. She was at Jarred and I’s favorite coffee shop, the kind that serves coffee and also sells books in a very negotiable price. It’s even like a library, you can go read whatever book it is that you like within their selections of those that are not for sale. However, unlike school libraries, borrowing these books out are not allowed.

                So, as I was saying, I saw Mariel. And blood rushed all over my face that I swear, I can see myself all red. Anyway, my first impulse was to hide. I would never let her see me in this down state of mine. I’m loser enough to let her have Jarred, it would make me a double loser if she sees I’m back to being so ugly again. She was wearing her yoga pants which gave me a hint that she came here straight from the gym. She effortlessly turned every head of each man she walks pass right by. How does she do that? She’s so charming that she brings out the sore loser in me. She sat at a table in front of mine and I tried to bury my face more to the book which my hand first took a hold of and pretended I was so engaged in reading whatever it is that was printed in each pages. Not cool, I know. But when you’re in that situation, you wouldn’t have any other choice.

                She didn’t place her orders right away, instead she told the waitress something about her waiting for someone, I suppose her date (ergo, Jarred) to arrive. This was the time when jealousy was starting to eat me and I become almost as bitter as the coffee I was sipping. I shoved the book to my face some more, nevertheless, keeping my ears focused on what she was saying. I heard her taking a call, and referring to the person she was talking to as “baby boo boo”.

                Time for my monologue. “How could Jarred ever do this to me? Wasn’t it enough that he introduced Mariel to our favorite coffee place? This was once our haven, and this was supposed to be my sanctuary now after we fell apart. How could he overlap our memories with the memories he’s currently building with Mariel? Oh, good Lord, he has to realize that this is not like those computer games wherein he could overwrite new data on the previously saved ones.”

                Of course that’s just me talking. Nobody hears this. Subsequently, in between my sulking, I saw a car pulled over. Interesting, the car does not look like any inch similar to that of Jarred’s.

                My, oh my, was I surprised and at the same time, curious of who Mariel’s date is. It’s as if the sound of my heart beating is deafening me. Maintaining my focus on the moving object, who, by now is stepping out of his car, I utter a prayer to heavens not to let it be Jarred. And that instant, I knew how much heavens love me.

                Upon seeing that her date’s finally arrived, Mariel began to be engaged in a last-minute-fixing, which basically means pulling a mirror out her bag and giving a quick glance of herself. Anyway, that’s all it took, because she is so close to perfection. Unless, she starts talking. Then, enter this man who is in his late forties, is average in height and possesses the face I am most familiar of. After I realized who this man is, the book I’m holding fell right out of my hand—which caused a sound and a little mess (well, my coffee spilled ALL over my table), therefore catching the attention of Mariel and her date.

                “Hi, Mariel. Boss Rex.” I managed to fumble.

                The two looked just as surprised as I am. Then it occurred to me that my boss has a wife and two kids. And there, explains why Mariel was always ahead of me in terms of promotion. For the longest time, I thought that I wasn’t good enough. Turns out that Mariel is making her own ways to get things. On the other hand, I was somehow relieved that her date isn’t Jarred.

                “Raffie? Hi! H-how have you been?” Mariel asked, her voice shaking. Her eyes shifting from my direction to Boss Rex’s direction. I sense awkwardness in bulk orders. So, this is how getting caught looks like, huh?  I wanted to smile, but for courtesy’s sake, I didn’t.

                “I’m doing fine. You know, not easy. As they say, slowly but surely.” I said, smiling. And oh, I wanted to say hi to Boss Rex, too.

                “Listen, Miss Martinez, I just happen to drop by.. Err.. Because.. I was supposed to be giving Mariel last minute instructions about.. Ahm.. You know.. The presentation tomorrow.” Boss Rex delivered this speech with incredibly TOO many knods after. Who are they lying to? Last minute instruction, my ass. She’s in her yoga pants.

                “Oh, yeah. I see. Well, I better go ahead now. See you around, Baby boo boo—I mean, Boss Rex.” I just had to let that one out. And boy, it feels so damn good.

                I walked out of the café with a big grin on my face. I hadn’t smiled in ages.