collaboration ♡ malum ✓

20 ➵ Vlog #10

Vlog #10 (Monday)

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First school days sucked.

Especially when you've been awake until four in the morning the night before, mostly because this one boy didn't leave your mind.

I was in that situation right now.

It was 7am and school was starting in half an hour. I only got two hours of sleep because I couldn't stop thinking about Calum and our kiss. 

After it happened we drove back home, dropped off Ashton and Luke and finally me. He didn't say anything about the kiss, he didn't talk to me at all after it and it worried me a little.

Did I do something wrong? Was it a mistake to kiss him? It didn't seem like a mistake to me, if I was being honest. But that's maybe just because I had a big crush on him.

I was laying awake the whole night, thinking about what he was thinking, if he hated me now and what I should do. 

Should I text him?

Call him?

Tweet him?

And if I did one of those things, what should I say to him? I could imagine that it would turn out very awkward and that I would just embarrass myself and make everything even more awkward.

My brain just thought about all those things until the clock stroke four and I somehow fell asleep. Now I was tired and had no energy to do anything. I still had to got to school.

The first day couldn't be that bad, right?

✧ ✧

"I'm fucking done with school," I shouted into my pillow and then sighed, grabbed my laptop and went onto YouTube. 

"Happiness," I whispered and watched some new videos. Somehow I landed on Calum's channel and couln't stop watching them. 

I bit my lip and looked at my phone, "Should I?" I asked myself and thought about it. 

"Fuck it, I need to talk to him."

I grabbed my phone and dialed his number, waiting for him to pick up.

"Hey Michael," I heard him say and sighed in relief at the fact that he didn't ignore me. 

"Hey."

Silence.

"So-"

"I'm kind of busy right now, is it important?" he cut me off.

"Oh, uh, no, it's not. Bye."

"Okay, bye."

The he hung up.

✧ ✧

"Luke, please help me," I said desperately, "Please."

"Tell me what happened," he said.

"Basically I kissed him last night and now he's acting weird. He didn't answer my texts I sent him after we were talking on the phone. Well, you can't really call it talking, he just said he was busy and hung up," I told him.

"Mh, I see. There's two things you can do now. First, visit him, tell him to sit down and talk. Talk about the kiss, talk about how you feel, talk about what he feels and see if you can find a solution on what should happen now between you two. Or you just wait until he comes up to you and starts talking. If I were you, I would wait for him to make the first step. He's probably a little bit confused at the time. He's straight, at least that's what he always said and then you come along and kiss him and I'm sure he doesn't know how to feel about it."