Disdain, Agony, Hope, and Love #Wattys2020

Chapter 60

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To a casual observer, it would seem that of the two gentlemen, it was Mr. Bingley who was the most impatient to reach Longbourn, but the more observant could easily discern the restlessness of Mr. Darcy. Whilst Bingley was the first to climb onto his horse and proceed a few step down the driveway calling for his friend to quicken his pace, it was Darcy who had been waiting outside by the stable for ten minutes for Bingley to join him. This brief period of solitude, then the languid ride to Longbourn gave Darcy ample chance to dwell upon what he should say when he found himself face to face once more with Elizabeth Bennet.

He would not, of course, repeat his words of April. Those words had been from his mind, rather than his heart. He had not properly expressed that time, what he really felt for her. However on this occasion, eloquence was unnecessary; as his cousin had said, Darcy had to simply speak from his heart.

"What on earth is troubling you so, Darcy?" inquired Bingley, once he had realised Darcy had not spoken more than ten words the entire morning.

"Nothing of consequence."

Nor could Darcy open up to his friend about his hopes and dreams. What if Elizabeth refused him a second time? He would not ruin his friend's happiness with news of his own sorrow.

But if she accepted, what then?

Darcy smiled at this, then humbly shook his head. He would not let himself expect more than what would happen.

For a change, there was no face at the window watching their arrival. The Bennet family were undoubtedly now used to Mr. Bingley's visits, however they would not be expecting Mr. Darcy to come as well. The housekeeper announced the two men into the drawing room, where the ladies of the house were seated. Darcy could see Jane, her features appearing even more beautiful with the arrival of Bingely, but his attention was immediately fixed on Elizabeth.

She glanced at him apprehensively, but with no antagonism. She was not smiling, and she seemed unsettled at Darcy's presence, however, also perhaps, a little expectant of his coming?

Before Mrs. Bennet could speak, Bingley proposed their all walking out. Whether he knew about his friend's intentions or, more likely, merely wanted to be alone with Jane Darcy was grateful for his friend's suggestion. But his happiness at having a moment to speak to Elizabeth privately was diminished with Miss Catherine's acceptance as well. Nevertheless, it was still better than remaining indoors, with the presence of so many others.

Trying to quell his rapidly beating heart, Darcy fell unconsciously into place beside Elizabeth. She did not look at him, but accepted Darcy's position by her side. Her younger sister followed behind them, whilst Jane and Bingley, absorbed in each other took the lead.

The road to Meryton was not long enough to warrant the use of a carriage, but long enough to give Darcy time to collect his thoughts, forming a desperate resolution, but the presence of Miss Catherine prevented him from carrying that out.

He could not prevent himself from casting his eyes towards his fair walking companion. Her bonnet hid most of her face and the fine eyes he so admired, but Elizabeth's dark curls spilled out to the side, making Darcy wish that she would remove the confining bonnet and let her hair flow out like the wild and free spirit she was. Once he was caught the eye of the lady and he quickly removed his gaze to the road ahead.

Very little was said by either of the three parties, Jane and Bingely having now pulled far ahead of them and were now heedless of the events behind them. Darcy imagined that Miss Catherine was too afraid to speak, whilst Elizabeth was too uncomfortable. He himself could not say a word beyond a monosyllable, caught up as he was trying to form a proposal in his mind.