summer

thirteen- night to afternoon

sawyer POV

He lay on his side, staring at the ceiling as he always did when confused or feeling alone. Despite Dylan directly next to him, he still felt incredibly lonely. Something about their proximity- close, not touching- hurt even more than Dylan's original distance. He bit his lip, thinking and weighing out situations. If he went to his room, he may feel even more alone and be completely unable to sleep, but if he stayed in Dylan's room, it would probably hurt even more.

"Hey, Dy?" He started, rolling over to inform Dylan on his decision to leave. "I- oh," he gasped, realizing the boy next to him was fast asleep.

Dylan lay on his side, one hand curled against his cheek and the other resting on his chest. His mouth was slightly open and his hair was an absolute mess around his face. It was quite dark, a stark contrast to his unnaturally pale skin, which Sawyer assumed was due to his adamant refusal to leave the house. His skin was completely clear, with no freckles whatsoever, and a very even blush. He had purple eye bags under his eyes that he knew were brown when open, and eyeliner smudged underneath them. Sawyer had hardly even noticed Dylan wearing eyeliner, but based on the trails left under his eyes he clearly did. He had piercings all over his ears, and two below his lower lip that bounced when he spoke. Dylan's hair was very black, so much so that he would've assumed it was dyed if not for his mother's matching color. It was quite long and unruly, and bone straight, with chunky layers cut to keep it elevated. Overall, Sawyer was quite appalled at Dylan's insistence on him being ugly. He was actually alarmingly beautiful, so much so it scared Sawyer. A lot.

He'd known he was gay since he was in middle school, but he'd never really had a serious crush on anyone, so he didn't know how it felt. He was becoming quite paranoid that he was developing feelings for Dylan, which was the exact opposite of what he'd wanted. He had hoped to be able to prove to himself that he wasn't the predatory and sick 'homosexual' his parents painted him to be, but just someone who didn't like girls. Now he was worried that he was falling for Dylan, which was exactly what his parents would've expected to happen. It made him feel sick.

"You're asleep," he whispered to Dylan, both of them on their sides and facing each other. He didn't know why talking to Dylan made him feel better, but it did. "You sleep a lot."

Sawyer felt tears building up in his eyes as he felt himself recognizing how beautiful Dylan really was. He was just so, so pretty. It stung so deeply to know that he could never hold him, kiss him, want him, or love him the way he wanted to, because Dylan would simply never see him in that way. He bit his lip, trying very hard to prevent tears from escaping his eyes.

"Oh, Dylan," he whispered, his lower lip quivering. "I'm so, so, sorry."

>><<

dylan's POV

Dylan woke up uninterrupted, which instantly made him feel a bit nervous. After falling asleep with Sawyer in his bed and waking up at 2 o'clock to him gone, he was rather discomforted. He heaved himself out of bed and trekked down the hall to Sawyer's- Eric's- room.

       "Morning," he said, knocking gently and then opening the door. He was surprised to see Sawyer still asleep, buried under the bedsheets, his blond hair a wavy mess. Dylan was surprised to notice the freckles decorating his nose and cheeks, likely given to him by the California sun. "Hey, sleepy," he gently laughed, sitting down on the bed and nudging Sawyer awake. "It's 2! How are you still asleep?"