summer

twenty five

Dylan guides Sawyer down the hall, not loosening his grip on his hand.

"I hate being a nuisance," Sawyer sighs, letting Dylan sit him down on his bed. He lies with his head against the pillows, turned away from Dylan.

"You're not a nuisance, I want to help you." Dylan raps his fingers on his knees, staring awkwardly at the ceiling.

"Why?" Sawyer turns to Dylan, lying on his side while Dylan lays on his back.

"Because you mean a lot to me and I can't stand to see you upset." Sawyer huffs and turns onto his back as well.

"That's a good answer. I wanted you to give me a bad one so I knew you didn't like me but you really do. Now I seriously feel bad for making you sad, you deserve better."

"Hey, you promised you understood I loved you!" Dylan sits up, agitated.

"Yeah, I know you do, I was just hoping I was wrong." He sighs, running his hand through his hair. "I wasn't."

"I love you, dummy," Dylan sighs, lying back down with his head on Sawyer's shoulder. Sawyer ruffles Dylan's hair lazily, blushing slightly. He pulls out his laptop and opens up Netflix.

      "What do you wanna watch?" Dylan shrugs lazily, pulling the covers over his shoulders even though it's summer.

       "I don't care, you choose." Sawyer turns on a random show and huddles under the covers next to Dylan. He lays his head on his chest, looking exhausted. Dylan watches the show, bored. He didn't know what the show was, it was interesting enough, but he just didn't care.

Sawyer fell asleep in 10 minutes.

>><<

        "You really let me sleep?" Sawyer wakes up groggily, wrapping his arms around Dylan.

        "Why wouldn't I?"

         "Because I'm annoying."

         "Didn't we already have this exact discussion?"

       "Yeah, except I was you and you were me." Sawyer stretches and smiles sadly at Dylan.

       "How are you feeling?" Sawyer bites his lip and scrunches his brows.

       "Honest answer or good answer?" Dylan frowns and hugs Sawyer.

       "Honest." Sawyer's eyes start to water and Dylan feels guilty again.

      "Shit, Dy. I feel like absolute crap. I feel so bad that you had to see me like that and then actually have to deal with me, after you came out to your mom! I'm such a sensitive, selfish, ugly, brat..."

       "Sawyer, I didn't have to 'deal with' anything! I love talking to you and I would give anything to make you happy. I feel like crap for saying that shit before, I came out to my mom so I would never have to hide you. You're not selfish or ugly, and you sure as hell aren't a brat." Tears leak slowly out of Sawyer's eyes and he leans against Dylan sadly.

       "I'm just sorry, I don't know." Dylan hugs Sawyer, smiling at him.

        "You've got nothing to be sorry for." Someone knocks on Sawyer's door and Dylan literally launches out of his bed to open it. Sawyer laughs at him and Dylan sticks out his tongue.

       "Hey guys! How's it going?" Dylan and Sawyer both smile slightly guiltily.

        "Good! Great!" Dylan's mom nods a bit suspiciously.

        "Dylan, can I talk to you?" Dylan shoots Sawyer an annoyed glance but nods and follows his mom downstairs.

       "What's going on?"

         "Is Sawyer okay? I saw the bandages on his wrists and there was a little bit of blood on his face! He looked like he'd been crying."

       "I already told you he cuts." Dylan stares at his feet guiltily.

      "Shoot. I have to talk to him about that. Are you okay, Dy?" Dylan nods and then shakes his head.

      "I don't know. I think Sawyer likes me again, which is good, but I want him to like himself. He's sad all the time but he acts so happy! I just want him to be actually happy. He's such a good person, he deserves more." Dylan's mom nods and hugs him sadly.

       "I'm sure it'll all be alright. He's a tough kid and so are you, you'll get through it." Dylan nods and she releases him. "Can I go talk to him?"

      "Sure, but why?" She shakes her head and turns for the stairs.

       "I wanna make sure he's okay."