summer

twenty one

       "Boys!" Dylan's mom opens the door, keys jingling. Dylan smiles at her lazily, not feeling happy whatsoever. Sawyer doesn't even look up. "Did you miss me?"

       "Okay." Sawyer leaves the table, clearing his throat and heading to his room.

       "What's up with him?" Dylan shrugs, eating more cereal. Why was he upset?

       "Don't know. He's grumpy." Dylan's mom nods and grabs an apple. She leans against the counter and turns to Dylan.

          "You alright?" Dylan rolls his eyes and nods. "Why don't you try to get a girlfriend? Maybe that would make you happier."

       "You think I haven't tried? Plus, I don't want a girlfriend anymore." His mom raises her eyebrows and smirks.

       "A boyfriend then?"

         "Mom!"

          "What? I'd be fine if you liked boys, girls, people, neither, or all of the above! Whatever you want to be, you'll always be my son, daughter, or child- if that's what you'd rather be."

      "Stop," Dylan groans, wolfing down his cereal and throwing the bowl in the sink. "I'm going to my room."

        "Say hi to Sawyer, he seemed upset."

>><<

        "My mom told me to say hi to you." Dylan knocks on Sawyer's door lightly. "Sawyer?"

         "What?" He snaps, throwing open the door. He rubs his eyes, Dylan can't tell if he'd been crying or if he was just tired.

        "Are you okay?" Sawyer rolls his eyes and turns away from Dylan, collapsing into his bed. Dylan follows him into his room, shutting the door gently behind him.

        "What do you think? You ignore me until your mom makes you speak to me after you tell me that you love me! What did I do? I don't understand!"

       "What? You didn't do anything!"

          "Then why aren't you speaking to me? Why are you mad?"

        "I just... I can't let my mom see us as friends."

       "I thought you didn't want to be friends. I want her to see us as more!"

      "We aren't more!" Sawyer's eyes widen, tears threatening to spill down his face.

       "I thought you loved me."

       "I do."

         "Then why are you doing this!" Sawyer jumps to his feet, anger staining his face red.

        "Because I can't let people think I'm a fag!" Dylan gasps, realizing what he'd just said too late. Sawyer's face crumples, tears ripping it apart. A sob escapees his lips. "Shit. Sawyer, I didn't mean that, I ju-"

       "Is that all I am to you? A fag? I told you what my parents did to me, I opened up to you! But no, I'm just some fag."

"No..." Dylan feels his own tears coming, filled with regret. "I'm so sorry, I can't believe I... oh my... I'm so sorry Sawyer, that's not how I see you!" He grabs Sawyer's hands, his thumbs touching his scar covered wrists.

"Don't touch me," Sawyer spits, ripping his hands out of Dylan's. He rubs away his tears but they don't stop coming. "Go away."

"Sawyer..." Dylan covers his mouth with his hands, still in shock at his own stupidity.

"Leave me alone! Don't talk to me! After all, why would you wanna speak to a fag like me?" Sawyer turns away from Dylan and storms into his bathroom. Dylan hears the lock click and he crumples onto his floor. Tears race out of his eyes, escaping between the fingers of his hands that he holds against his face.

"I'm sorry." He stands and attempts to walk out of the room, his vision blurred by tears.

"Dylan?" Dylan spins around, his mother standing in the hallway. He rubs away his tears as quickly as he can but she's already seen them. "Oh, sweetheart!" She walks over and gives him a tight hug. "What's wrong?"

"I fucked up," Dylan cries, not wanting to leave his mother's arms.

"Language!"

"No, mom, I really fucked up. Like, bad this time. I don't know what to do!"

"What happened?" She asks, leading Dylan to his room and sitting him down on his bed. She sits next to him, her arm wrapped around his shoulders.

"Sawyer's really upset!" Tears flow down his face and drip off of his chin, completely uncontrollably.

"I thought you hated Sawyer but I've never seen you this upset."

"I don't hate him but now he hates me because I messed up really bad."

"Dylan, what did you do?"