"WAIT FOR YOU"

XVI

Weeks before I start going to college, I always stay in my room. At night I will spend time staring at the star in our rooftop. I was living with my aunt here in New York. She was my mother's youngest sister. She has one daughter who is 3 years old. At day I will accompany her if she asks for ice cream I took her to the mall for ice cream or for kids rides that will fit her age. I never check my phone since I will be receiving calls when it comes to my family if there is some important matter. But texting and checking my social media account. I don't have any appetite for doing so. I don't know what happens. My mother's sister's family is not that crowded they are a serious type of person. I don't mind since I don't talk also and I need peace of mind by just thinking about him, about all those what if's and questions our relationship. Did he love me for all those years? Because I was damn hurting, crying every night and just want to sleep all those confusing questions.

I was in my second year in college now, I go to school every day, socializing with different people at school, joining different groups, partying at night with friends, in other words? I managed to make myself busy every day. I survived, yes. But never forget what I'm trying to let go.
It's like I have everything but not him. Sometimes I will make myself drunk at my friend's boarding school then will tell my Aunt that we will be doing some project but the truth was just not to show them my breakdown point. Surviving the weeks or months but there will always a time of silent if I go home on my room then while looking at the mirror, tears will start to fall then, later on, a sob then up until I fell asleep until I wake up then pretend that it didn't happen at all.

Until one day coming late at night around 10 pm. After dropping things to my room I decided to spend some time in our rooftop grabbing my phone and headset to kill time. I directly sit under the mango tree which connects to our rooftop since I heard people talk on the other side of the rooftop since my aunt and uncle turn it to like a minibar and a terrace where you can chill at. I didn't mind those familiar voices so instead, I play my favorite song which is Wait for you by Eliott Yamin then put my earphone. Closing my eyes then listening to his song, the voices bothered me since they seem too loud unlike the usual and they seem to like having fun. Curiosity kills the cat. I decided to check then what I didn't even expect was my brother was sitting on the other stool facing the lights from the other neighbor, I was not informed about his arrival since we barely talk. Not that I don't miss him it's actually what makes me wonder about me and my brother was what if we grew up in a complete family? Maybe will be like other siblings who are closer than ever and maybe I won't feel insecure with other siblings.
I was dazed and staring in no particular direction as I was standing at the opposite side of my brother until he's clearer standing in front of me.

"Hey? What took you this time? Aunt told me you always have late at night at school?" my brother asks snapping me from my deep thoughts.

"School makes me busy nowadays," I told him. I want to hug him but I will not because that's how we are.

"I see, you don't even have time to call me or ask about me?" it's a statement
"You never call your older sister what's the difference?" I answered curiously because he never complains to improve our relationship, he always acts like the older one and treats me as an immature one.

Maybe because we've been away with each other for two years.

"Never mind, I was here to check on you and I'm sorry about not calling to check." He unbothered say

"I was with someone since this is a trip plan by Sophie" he added and I was a little shocked and excited.

"Sophie and who?" I was half smiling to confirm whose visiting me now.

"it's just Eden, Neil and Sophie then Adam since he's not busy and Sophia invited him." He narrated before I feel someone familiar at his back and it dawned on me whose the other man sitting with him drinking beer.