fragile | jelix

chapter 17

our conversation and everything we talked about the day before had taught me something new about jack: he is an understanding and helpful son of a bitch. after a while it felt so normal and easy to talk to him about my problems and everything that happened with my mother. where had he been all of my life, especially on the days that i needed somebody to talk to the most?

again, as i always did, i climbed carefully through the window and shut it behind me. but before i could even go to sit in the chair, i noticed what jack was doing, and immediately alarm bells were ringing.

he was incredibly shaky. and when i say he was incredibly shaky, i mean he was incredibly shaky. it was as if he was being trapped in a room that's -10 degrees without a coat. and he didn't stop when he saw me standing in front of him. if anything, the shaking actually got worse. he smiled at me and greeted me, to which i returned a simple 'hi'.

"are you alright? you're shaking a lot." he tried acting puzzled and as if he wasn't doing anything of the sort.

"am i? i never even realised. i feel fine." he smiled at me reassuringly and i eventually sat down in the wooden chair. he was acting completely oblivious to the shaking, like it wasn't happening. i continued to observe him, getting increasingly worried as time went on. suddenly he put his hand out. it took me a few seconds to realise that he was reaching for a drink that was on his bedside table. i offered to get it for him but he declined, saying that if i did so i would be crossing the line. that damn line. i still at that point had no idea what it was for.

he finally grabbed the glass of water. he held it tightly above the table for a couple of seconds before beginning to bring it over to him. i could see his shaking getting worse as he brought the glass over to his lips. the glass never even got to them. just before he managed to bring it to where he was sat, he shook more voilently than he had done before, lost his grip, and dropped the glass on the floor. i watched as the glass shattered and the pieces scattered everywhere, some even getting pretty close to me.

i was about to open my mouth and ask him if he was alright again, until a familiar female voice echoed throughout the house.

"sean? what was that? are you alright?" i recognised that the voice belonged to his mother and fear shot through my veins immediately.

"yes mother...i dropped a glass, that's all." his cheeks were slightly red and at that point i wasn't entirely sure what exactly he was embarrassed about.

"are you hurt?!" there were hints of concern in her voice.

"no mother. i'm fine."

"i'm coming in." when she said that my entire body entered panic mode and apparently so did jack's. he stared at me with wide eyes before pointing a slightly bony finger towards his closet.

"hide." he whispered and i caught on. i hastily made my way over to the closet and opened the doors, noticing how little clothes he actually had in there. i got in and closed the closet doors behind me, praying that his mother (for whatever reason) wouldn't go looking in there.

after a few seconds i heard the sound of a door opening, then closing and then i heard footsteps that thankfully weren't approaching the closet.

"how did you drop it?" his mother asked softly.

"i was shaking. i was about to drink from it but i couldn't keep a grip on it anymore."

"your shaking still hasn't stopped?"

"no. it's gotten worse."

"gotten worse?! oh...you poor thing...i'll clean up the glass and then i'll get you another drink, ok?" jack muttered an ok under his breath. from that point i stayed in the closet for about 10 minutes because it was taking a while for jack's mother to clean up the mess and then get him another drink. they also talked for a little bit before she left for good and i could come out of the closet..heh.

when jack gave me the signal to do so i opened the closet doors and got out, relieved to be back in his room again. there was no longer any glass on the floor, and there was another fresh drink of water for him that he was holding onto very tightly.

"i'm sorry to cut this so short...but you should probably leave." those words cut into me deeply and i could feel my heart begin to hurt just from hearing him say that.

"what? why?"

"it's just not a good time right now and she'll probably keep coming back in here so it's best if you just go and come back tomorrow. i'm sorry." i'd be lying if i said it didn't hurt when he said that to me. he was perfectly right and i understood what he was saying. but it still cut real deep, deeper than i would have liked.