Insomnia (blackvelvet)

Chapter one.

31.10.19
8:03pm

A loud sigh leaves my mouth as I let myself fall down on the couch, too exhausted to even just sit properly.

It's already eight in the evening, which means I spent twelve hours in the practice room, all alone, trying to perfect every single moves of a choreography I probably won't ever perform again.

I have to be perfect. I know it. Or I would have done all of this for nothing.

I stare at the ceiling, my eyes starting to close on their own, and my heartbeat slowly going back to normal. It's hard, living like this. Always under pressure, always knowing that I might be sent home anytime, that all these years of work might not even lead to something. I sometimes feel myself going crazy, all forms of consciousness and reasonability leaving my soul after weeks spent like this, trapped, alone.

But I know I'd go completely insane, if I failed.

I have to work hard, always work harder. It's what he wants, and I'll show him what I'm worth. Even if it drives me mad. I have to keep going. I have to be like him. No matter what it takes.

08:12pm

After spending way too much time debating whether I should take a break or not, I finally find the courage to get up and grab myself something to eat. I really don't need to faint from exhaustion right now.

Everything is quiet outside, I know Lisa is still practicing in the room in front of mine because I can hear the faded bass of the music through the wall. I think Wendy is close too.

Most of the people who work here are incredibly busy with something else, though. He's only debuting in a few hours, things are getting crazy. I get it. But maybe I wish that were me.

I quickly shake the thought off my mind. I can't let it consume me.

I reach for the door handle, slowly turn it.

But the door doesn't open.

I try again, it should open, right?

There isn't even any lock on it, the door opens with a magnetic card, which is in my pocket. But I'm supposed to be able to open it from the inside, even without it, for obvious security reasons, so why can't I?

I try again, and again. I try to shout, hoping someone would hear me, but no one does.

What is happening ?!