31.10.19
11:39pm
I can't sleep.
None of us can, actually. We're all exhausted, there's no doubts. Yet... we can't trust each other enough to close an eye anymore, who knows what will happen ?
Some of the girls are having small talks, probably trying to find a distraction, something to get their mind off the seriousness of it all. Nothing is like before, though, and everyone knows that.
I feel like all these girls, despite living with them for years know, are strangers. Have I ever really known them ?
I wish I could just pretend nothing happened. I wish I could pretend nothing had changed, that we were all the same nine girls trying to achieve their dream together.
I sigh.
I don't even know if we will all survive the night.
I scan the room for the nth time, trying to find something odd, my eyes meet those of the security guard at the door and a shiver run through my spine. How come does he make me feel even more in danger ?
Maybe it just makes it even more real.
I quickly look away, not daring to keep the eye contact much longer.
Then I see Rosie, in the corner of the room, her knees brought to her chest, and her eyes teary. My breath hitch.
It hurts seeing her like this... She's usually so.. bright ? Seeing her with such a sad look on her face makes
me almost mad, no one deserves this, and I hate that she's affected so badly.
It's almost like all life had left her eyes.
I smile sadly.
Should I help ?
I can just... try to comfort her, without taking any risk, maybe even learn a thing or two that could help me.
Maybe I should just stay away from her.
Hell, I hate that I'm saying this, but who knows if she's not manipulating us...?
No. That's ridiculous, she's almost hiding herself.
I close my eyes. She's still my friend... right?
Fuck.
I'm going crazy.
What should I do?
I shake my head. I think too much, Chaeyoung is my friend. I can't leave her alone.
Besides, I might learn a thing or two.
I make my way to her slowly, trying not to startle her, and softly put my hand on her shoulder, making her look up into my eyes.
"hey"
She quickly wipes her tear and offer me a shy smile.
"Jen. Hey,"
I smile back at her and sit down right beside her. I hear her trying to slow down her breathing.
"Do you wanna talk about it?" I ask, my voice as gentle as possible.
"I don't know," She answers, staring at her feet, her hands playing with the hem of her shirt.
"You know..." I trail. "It's been a crazy day, but, I'm always here Rosie. It'll never change."
"Yeah, sure," She scoffs.
I wait for her to say something more. I don't want to rush her, don't want to argue. I know now that I have to be careful with every single word that leaves my mouth.
