chapter 12

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Monday, March 16th, 2020

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Monday, March 16th, 2020

The day everything happened last November, I woke up with this terrible feeling of dread sitting heavy in the pit of my stomach. At the time I couldn't place what it meant, but hearing that first gunshot go off in school changed that pretty quickly.

I've woken up with the same feeling and I shudder at the thought of something terrible happening again. I was finally beginning to feel like maybe I could get some fragments of my old self back. Now I wasn't so sure.

I almost don't even bother getting ready for school but I know that not showing up will only make things worse. I couldn't hide from my past but I just had to make sure it didn't define my future.

I avoid my eyes in the floor-length mirror. It leans against the wall next to my door as I button up my school dress. It used to hang over the back of my door in my old bedroom, pictures stuck around the frame. I'd removed all the photos long ago, memories that I didn't need to remember.

I hear mum's car reverse out of the driveway, zooming up the street. I felt like she purposely left early these days, just so that I'd be made to drive his car. Little did she know however that Nix's car didn't make it more than two blocks before I walked to Harry's house.

I'm already running a few minutes late when I make it into the kitchen to grab some fruit to eat.

My phone chimes as I'm biting into my apple. I look down, puzzled my the text Harry has just sent.

I'm here. Out front.

What in the hell is he on about? We had a deal! He wasn't supposed to pick me up in front of my house.

Despite both my parents not being home, I'm still annoyed at him. The last thing I needed right now was to be caught out having actual friends. And god forbid any of them were boys.

Despite his message, I'm still shocked to see that he is parked in my driveway. I catch him waving at me through the windscreen, totally nonchalant like everything was normal.

I trudge down the front steps, frowning at him as I approach his car.

"What the hell are you doing here?" I bark, once I've swung the passenger side door open.

Maybe I was overreacting slightly but no one understood what it was like for me now. No one realised what having friends meant.

"Picking you up. Come on, get in. School starts soon."

Despite my anger, I shut the door quietly behind me, buckling my seatbelt.

"I thought we had a deal, Harry."

"We do. However, you were supposed to be at my house five minutes ago. When you didn't turn up I took matters into my own hands."

"Harry, you know that—"

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