chapter 50

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Sunday, July 5th, 2020

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Sunday, July 5th, 2020

I dream of Harry.

He's standing in front of me. Wisps of his brown hair floating across his face, covering his eyes. He's smiling at me, reaching out. The sun is blinding behind him, the fresh smell of the grass tickling my senses.

"Lonnie."

"Lonnie."

"Lonnie."

My eyes snap open, searching the dark room. The curtains are drawn. The slightest amount of moonlight creeps on through, shading the floor.

I cough, clenching my fists to fight the pain. My bandages were changed today. I was able to see the healing scar on my stomach. A small line where the bullet punctured my skin, luckily missing all my vital organs. The bandage around my head from my operation proved to me my worst fear. I had a patch of my hair shaved off. It had only just started to grow back, a small fuzz like Asher's buzz cut.

I cough again and notice movement in the chair next to my bed. I reach for the lamp on the bedside table, turning it on to illuminate their face. Harry's head is slumped to one side, resting against the head of the armchair. He's staring off into space, his tired eyes blinking. When he sees the light turn on, he jumps in his seat, clenching the arm rests.

"Scared ya," I whisper, smiling softly at him.

His eyes glisten with tears. I extend my hand toward him and he grips it tightly.

"You have no idea," he croaks, wiping his eyes furiously.

Harry clasps my hand against his forehead. He lets out a shaky breath, his shoulders slumping. "One month of not knowing if you'd ever wake up. Not knowing if I'd ever get to tell you that I'm not angry."

"What?"

"I don't blame you. I never would. I promised you nothing would scare me away and I meant it."

"Oh," my heart hammers loudly in my chest.

"You are your own person, Lonnie. I would never define who you are by your brother."

My stomach swarms with butterflies. I squeeze his hand twice. He looks up at me and I wipe the tears from his eyes. Harry's reassurance made me feel lighter. I'd never loved him more than in this very moment.

I grunt, scooting over on the bed. "Come here."

"I don't want to hurt you."

"Then don't," I raise an eyebrow, patting the spot next to me on the bed.

He seems to think about it for a moment before sitting beside me. He's all tense but when I touch his arm, he relaxes slightly.

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