chapter 44

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Saturday, June 6th, 2020

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Saturday, June 6th, 2020

Mum was in the mood to cook tonight. The only problem was that we had nothing left in the cupboards. We'd been having takeaway this week, just so we could use all our time preparing the house for when the movers arrived.

I needed to get out of the house for a while, so I told her I'd take Nix's car to go to the supermarket. I loved my parents, but right now, I needed my space. It had been difficult when they were constantly moving about the house, packing things into boxes.

Although I still didn't love the idea of driving Nix's car, I was getting used to it. Maybe one day it would never even cross my mind that it was the last place he was alive, and the first place he was found dead.

I hop in, shutting the door and sighing. Even the outside world seemed loud right now.

I place my head against the steering wheel, breathing in. Once I look up, I stare at the house, knowing I wouldn't have much time left in it. My parents wanted to be out by Wednesday at the latest.

I go to put the keys in the ignition but they drop out of my hand, landing somewhere under the seat.

"Great," I mumble.

I fumble around awkwardly, trying to reach under me and avoid hitting my head against the wheel. I can't feel them anywhere. I reach further under, but still, nothing.

I sigh, getting out of the car and crouching down next to the seat, searching for the keys. I spot them, wedged between the console and the seat. When I go to grab them, my hand swipes against something weird.

I crouch lower, trying to see what I had just scraped against. It felt like paper. I reach for the keys again and see something white.

It was paper. Something was written on it but I couldn't see what it was. My view was obstructed by the seat. I pull out the keys and reach for the paper, trying to wedge it free from the gap. I tug hard and hear it rip.

"Shit," I curse, dropping the keys on my seat. I try again and this time, I pull it free.

I stand up, frowning. It was an envelope. It had my name scribbled across it.

It was in Nix's handwriting.

I pull the car door closed behind me, staring at the envelope. My hands are shaking, making it hard for me to open. The corner of the envelope was ripped from where I had tried to pull at it. A layer of dust had coated it, making me realise that it had probably been here the entire time.

I rip the envelope open, breathing hard. A piece of folded A4 paper falls into my lap and I freeze.

The ink had seeped through onto the other side like it always did with Nix. He held onto his pen so hard that I always warned him he was going to break it one day.

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