Toxic Love (Completed)

Chapter 39: Aftermath Of Sleeping With A Druglord

I grabbed my clothes and quickly slipped them on. I needed to get out of this house. I can't be back here. As much as I miss Xander, and being around him.

This room, this house, is giving me PTSD.

I knew one thing, I needed to get out of this house, asap. And without Xander seeing me. After last night, I don't really wanna talk to him.

For months, I craved him. But after last night, I feel like I was broken again. I was myself after my father killed my family.

I was weak. I let my emotions take over.

Once I was dressed, I ran out of the room and down the stairs as fast as I could, but before I could even get to the doors, I heard his voice call my name.

"Megan! Wait!" I heard him yell.

I stopped in my tracks and slowly turned around.

"I need to go Xander. I have a job." I told him.

"Stay, we need to talk. It's important." Xander told me. I shook my head no.

Xander's eyes went dark. He grabbed my arm forcefully and dragged me into his office, as I screamed and struggled.

I could feel a few tears run down my face.

Once we got into the office, Xander threw me to the floor, and slammed his office door shut. "We didn't have to do it that way, you just need to learn to fucking listen every once and a while," Xander told me as he took a seat at his desk.

I didn't dare look at him. I kept my eyes on the ground, as I held my wrist in my hand. Making sure it wasn't broken.

"Get up," Xander instructed.

I ignored him. "Get up," he said once again, but this time, it was much gruffer.

He seemed to be more pissed off, repeating himself.

I stood up slowly from the ground, still looking at it.

Once I was finally up, my shoulders were slumped and my eyes were still fixated on the ground.

"You know what? It doesn't matter." Xander said.

I didn't speak as I sat down in the chair. My eyes didn't dare leave the ground. I felt as if the ground was a haven for my eyes.

I guess, that I was scared to look up. But if I looked into his eyes, I would give in.

I didn't want to. But I knew I would if I did.

"We need to talk. Both of us were drunk last night. It wouldn't have happened if we weren't. The alcohol got to both of our systems, and our minds. We weren't in the right mind."

I didn't look up from the ground, but I nodded.

I wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of looking up. " Megan, look at me! I'm talking to you. I would've thought after a few months of living with me, you would've learned to behave. To obey." Xander said.

He's back to the normal Xander. The sweetness is gone. He's so bipolar.

He can go from the sweetest guy in the world, to full on psycho And that can happen within 20 seconds. It worries me.

" I just want to leave. Let me leave. You're right. We were both drunk. it wouldn't have happened if we weren't. You were drunk, and I was drunk. The alcohol got to our minds." I admitted. But I didn't know if that was true.

I could've possibly done the exact same thing if I wasn't drunk. I was weak. I just wanted comfort.

Xander was toxic, and for some reason, I was drawn to him. But after waking up, I wanted nothing to do with him. At the moment, I wanted to leave. I wanted to leave him, and all of his drama behind.

"You know, I can read people very easily. I know you're lying. You're just trying to give me what I want. I deal with people like that all the time. They usually end up screwing me over, and they die."

" I just want to leave. I'll give you whatever you want. I want to go home."

"Are you sure? Last night you didn't want to leave. After we had sex, you wanted to stay the night." Xander said. Was it true? Did I truly want to stay the night?

I decided to finally look at him. I looked at him straight in the eyes and scowled.

"As I just said a few seconds ago. I was drunk. I didn't know what I was thinking. I want to leave. I don't want to be here, and I sure as hell don't wanna be around you. I've had enough of all this. I thought a few weeks ago, that I wanted to be around you, that I wanted to be back in your arms. But I don't want any of this. Nobody who cares about me, would drag me through a hallway, screaming and yelling at me to stand the fuck up. You are insane. I have no feelings for you, except for the deep hate that I have for you." I told him.

I couldn't tell at the moment if what I was saying was true or not. I knew I disliked him. But I didn't know if I had no feelings for him. I didn't know if I hated him. I know I dislike him. But not hate.

I guess I just wanted him to get rid of me. To leave me alone for good. At least that's what I thought I wanted. Right now, I can't seem to decide what I want. My mind is all over the place.

"Did you know Megan, that for months, I thought about bringing you back? I wanted you back my arms. I wanted to make you mine. I went through girl, after girl. I even told Joey to not say anything. I didn't wanna hurt your feelings. Because I did care about you. but when I saw you at the bar last night, I wasn't too drunk, but I still knew that I wanted something with you. It was funny, last night you told me the exact same thing. I also know, the most drunk people, or more likely to tell the truth. They tell their feelings, because they feel as if nobody is listening."

Xander can see right through me. He always has. I can never seem to lie to him. Or, if I do, he knows I am lying.

There's never truly any point in it. So I don't know why I just did.

"So what? Last night should've never happened. I wish I never met you at the bar. I just wanna go home! I can't do this anymore. I can't be near you." I told him getting really irritated. That was the truth. I wish I never did see him last night, and I just wanna go home. I'm losing my mind at the moment.

"You want to go home? Fine. I'll send you home." Xander said standing up. He walked toward me and got down on his knees in front of me.

"But, I'm going to tell you this now. There are men after you. They know who you are. And they know that you meant something to me. you need to run. As far as you can go. Because, they'll follow you. They want you dead. They think if they kill you, it'll somehow hurt me. I'm just telling you this in advance. I've already had to kill about 20 of their men. They usually come up the side of your apartment."

"What?! How could you never tell me about this? that's so fucking mean of you. They are after me! You have no right to keep this for me. Even if you didn't want to tell me yourself, you could've told Joey, and he would've told me. You're so selfish! You don't give a shit about anybody except yourself. You're a monster, and I hate you"

I was so filled with anger, that I wasn't thinking before I acted on my words. I raise my hand up and slap Xander hard. His head didn't turn. It look like it didn't even affect him at all. Except the big red head mark that was on the side of his cheek. His face with still. No emotion.

I instantly regretted what I did. As soon as I noticed what I had done. I looked at him in the eyes, and his face was still. He didn't move. I was waiting for a reaction. I was waiting for him to fly out his gun and shoot me between eyes. Or he beat me to death. Something along those lines.

But nothing happened. Xander stood up and walked over to his desk chair, and sat down. We sat in silence for a couple seconds, before he spoke.

" I want you to leave. Never come back. I gave you a warning. You're lucky I even told you at all. I could've sent you home right now, and let them kill you. If I ever see you again, I'll put a bullet between your eyes without even a second thought. Now get the hell out of my house."