Silvana's Trial

Chapter 5 - The Shift

Silvana paced in the dim moonlight. Trees cast long shadows, obscuring the uneven ground beneath her feet. Still, she marched back and forth, sure-footed as an antelope. Agitated thoughts refused to let her rest.

As soon as Ned left her earlier in the afternoon, her mind gave her no respite. She knew what she was doing was wrong. She deliberately made him feel guilty. She'd set everything up for him to follow her, and he had. When she'd seen the genuine concern on his face, her triumph felt bitter.

She wanted him to remain the hateful, inhuman horror that tore her family apart and visited her in her nightmares. More than anything, she wanted to keep on blaming him, rejecting him and making him feel her own pain but it was all built on a lie. Flynn was alive. Her father was safe at home, waiting for her to return.

Hate writhed in her intestines, a pit of vipers spreading their poison within her. For she didn't hate Ned so much anymore. She still despised him for his cruelty and vindictiveness but she was grateful he hadn't given Flynn a clean killing blow. Her hatred turned inwards. The situation forced her to lead him on, to make him believe her father was dead. That made her do things she wouldn't otherwise have done.

Keeping up the ruse of her father's death, compelled her to act as though he were a monster and bound her to thoughts that intensified her resentment. She wanted to be free of it all. She needed this journey to end. It was eating away at her self but at the same time she feared what would happen if she dropped the show, if she pretended to forgive him. What would happen then? Would he think her too easily forgiving and smell a rat? Aware of his power, his ability to still take everything from her, to destroy her family, Silvana resented Ned more and more with each passing breath.

Cold ate its way into her awareness. Her fingers stung and the chill of the night crept into her bones. She headed to where she'd left her saddle bags. The area outside the hut was clear. She bit her lip. Were the bags taken inside? She glanced at the door. Dread filled her. She didn't want to be near him. She wanted to find peace and her own mind wouldn't allow it.

Then her gaze fell on a shadowy pile right outside the door. Her bags were neatly placed and an extra blanket rested on top of them. She flung the warm fabric about her shoulders. It was thick and heavy and kept the cold at bay.

Must have been one of the guards, she thought. I must thank them for their consideration in the morning.

She circled the hut again and continued her tortuous back and forth. Resentment burned in her mind, a glowing coal spreading slow, destructive heat through her. Silvana despised Ned for forcing her into this situation, for getting her stuck in a place where she had to lie to move forward, to survive. Her whole being raged at the injustice of it all. Everything was his fault. Whenever something went wrong it was his doing and now he was turning her into a reprehensible version of herself.

Rusted hinges squeaked, bringing Silvana out of her absorbed thoughts. She spun around and crept towards the building, hiding in the shadows and staying out of sight. She peeked around the corner.

Ned stood in the clearing, looking back at the cabin with a bemused look on his face. Silvana made out a smile playing on his lips. Then a twitch of his eyebrows brought a wave of despair crashing over him, bowing his head. Shoulders hunched, he stood for a moment, lost in thought.

She wondered what could afflict a man of such power. He could take anything he wanted, have anything he dreamed of without anyone gainsaying him. What could possibly bear him down this way? Then she shook the thought from her mind with a forceful motion. No, he was probably acting in the hope she was watching. Manipulating her as she was him. This was a game of cat and mouse and she had to be the cat and toy with him or she'd die before this farce ended.