I fall apart' ~ Post Malone

07.

With a sour face, red eyes, and a bad hair day, I got on my bike the next day. The sun was already high, and on top of that, it also stung my eyes. This day was already doomed to be hopeless. Everything seemed to go wrong. It was all his fault. Why did I have to dream about him again? I could hit myself on my head. It seemed as if every time I took a step further in healing, I reminded myself of my pain and started everything over again. The pain had not subsided in those three months. Not even a small amount. And I knew it was me. I wish I had a button that I could toggle. One that would stop the stabbing pain in my heart for a while would do the constant pressure less. But there was none. I stared grumpily in front of me, trying to pay so little attention to the environment, knowing where I would come before now. However, fiercely I tried to ignore the background; I couldn't.

I saw his house from the corner of my eye, which was too big, looming in the distance. I had to find another way to the studio. I was getting closer and closer and turned my face away as quickly as possible—something extremely difficult when you were on a bicycle. I felt the urge to watch. The urge to see him hidden somewhere at the bottom of me. Under all the mountains of pain, that was immense. However, my attempt failed again. But it was not the urge to see him that made me look up. I heard a strange growling sound, and my curiosity took over.

I had to get off so that I didn't fall off my bike in surprise. For me, a strange scene was going on, and I squeezed myself to see if I was not dreaming. For me, Felicity and Austin stood opposite of each other like cat and dog. They leaned forward more hostile, and it seemed as if they were going to get hurt at any moment. Felicity's hands were very tight fists. They were so tight her hands were white. Her gaze spits in front, and if I had been Austin now, I would have stepped back long ago. I knew Felicity long enough to know that when she was furious, it was very there.

My gaze slid gently as my heart clung to Austin and flashed quickly to his face. It wasn't angry at all. It was suspected that thick bags marked his eyes and were dull. Lifeless. They seemed to have lost their depth. The treasures I once found in it had disappeared. I froze for a moment as my thoughts really dawned on me. Why did I think about that now? I quickly averted my gaze before I was completely captivated by him again, and my thoughts became even more abnormal. Hoping that the pain wouldn't surface and focused back on the situation. My eyes slid to Austin's hands. They're shaking. From anger? Then why was that anger not visible on his face? My mind was running at top speed, and I tried to figure out what was going on here. My mind failed me. I took a step in their direction, but just as I was about to say something, Felicity lashed out.

Felicity's fist hit Austin's cheek with a soft, fluttering sound. He lost his balance and stumbled backward, struggling not to fall on the grass. "You're an asshole, Post." Felicity didn't just say it; she hissed it. She sounded upset, and that worried me. Her eyes spitfire and she walked back to Austin. I may be in pain because of him, and I may be a bit depressed because of his actions; I would not let him be beaten. "FELL!" I walked on as fast as I could and stood in front of Austin. I couldn't believe I was actually doing this. I tried to think as little as possible and grabbed Felicity by the shoulders. "Fell, stop!" Her eyes were no longer angry but hurt. I sensed an imminent eruption, and I pushed her towards her house. Austin bruised and left in amazement.

I didn't know what Austin had said to Felicity, but it had affected her feelings.