Strawberry Acai Refresher

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I'm stuck.


I have no idea what I want to paint or draw or take photos of. I can usually find inspiration from the slightest of things but...my well has run dry.


Thaleia has been super busy with med school lately since her final exam is soon. Hali and Niall have been getting all of their ducks in a row for this movie deal Hali scored.


All of that left me alone, bored, and unable to create.


I generally do terribly in the whole 'not thinking yourself into an anxiety attack' area. Anxiety has been an unwelcome inhabitant in my mind since I was younger, and given how me and Hali grew up I'm surprised she came out practically unscathed.


Hali was perfect. She got straight A's in school, sailed through cosmetology school, and is the most kick-ass cosmetologist I know. She has a perfect track record. Never been suspended from school, never disappointed mom, you know the generally perfect daughter. Not to mention she's the prototype for a perfect omega as well. She's submissive, cooks and cleans for fun, is the opposite of selfish, and anything else you could think of that all omegas should be.


Me? I'm a mess. I've always been a smart-ass who got in trouble all throughout school up until I just ended up dropping out halfway through my junior year to take care of my cancer-riddled mom while Hali went off to cosmetology school. We all knew if anybody was gonna make an actual career it would be her, so I settled for being the help. Eventually mom needed professional care so I had to start working three jobs to keep paying the hospital bills. When I go to see her all she wants to know is if I've finally stopped trying to undermine her and gotten myself an alpha. My mom has always thought that my inability to commit to an alpha was out of spite for her, but she couldn't be farther from the truth.


Growing up I saw how mom's boyfriends treated her and I'll be damned if I just roll over and let some pig nosed knot for brain alpha walk all over me and then fix my mouth to apologize to him for it. I'd rather die alone. I don't need any alpha to provide for me, I've been doing that my whole life.


All the money I got from selling paintings at Mike and Marilyn's museum went to my mom's medical bills but now I've paid them all off and her future treatments and I finally have some money for me. After rationing it all out I've decided to invest $200,000 in Styles Enterprises and see how that goes. If it makes me a profit like I've guessed, they'll definitely be seeing more of me.


Speaking of Styles Enterprises, Mr.Styles had emailed me a few times but I've yet to respond.


Honestly, I don't think its a good idea to get involved with him or his brothers. They're all in the spotlight and I don't want that kind of attention. Plus once they realize how fucked up I am, they won't want anything to do with me anyways. So why waste the energy?


But enough with the heavy, the gym seemed pretty appealing right now. The gym was a safe haven for me. It allowed me to not think and just do. So I practically rolled out of the bed and made my way to the bathroom to wash my face and get ready.


Once I deemed myself gym ready, I took one last look in the mirror to make sure I looked presentable to the outside world. I was feeling like I needed a lift, emotionally and physically, so my outfit was on the lighter side. A cropped pink spaghetti strap top, white biker shorts, pink sneakers (with foam soles like most of my shoes because its comfy), and a white balenciaga backpack. I always made sure my phone case matched my outfit, so today's case was clear with pink flowers on it. I decided on a touch of makeup but all very natural and nothing heavy since I was going to the gym after all, and some pink oval shades and whatever random necklace I happened to grab to accessorize.

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