Begin Again

Chapter 16

Taking a deep breath, I walked out of my apartment. It's the chemistry paper today. Hugging my notes close to my chest, I heard the door close and lock behind me. I pushed down the handle to check. Okay.

"Good morning, Grey," I heard from my left.

"Good morning, Matteo," I replied, grinning.

He walked towards me and, together, we walked towards the lift. On our way to school, we tested each other. Of course, he helped me more than I helped him. He crafted questions for me to answer. I can't do that since I know nuts about what he's learning.

"Hey, Lexie! You're here! Come join us!" Talia exclaimed.

"Good luck, Grey. You can do this," he said and nudged at me to go.

I nodded and smiled. "You too, though I don't think you need luck" I replied. With that, I joined my friends for a final hour of mugging. I turned around to look at him one last time but he already left. Sigh.

After an hour of hanging out at the library for final revision, we made our way to our exam room. Good luck, Grey, his last words to me echoed in my mind. I had the help of the genius of the school. I can't possibly fail, right?

We wished each other good luck before entering the room. I walked to my table and took a seat. You can do this, I heard Matteo say. Yes, I can do this. I'm going to ace this paper and all the others. I'll show everyone what I'm worth.

As soon as the invigilator gave the cue, I flipped the paper. Full marks, full marks, full marks, I chanted in my heart. I thought of Matteo's encouraging words and instantly felt very warm at heart. I have to fulfil my promise to him.

Don't worry. I'll definitely get the highest score in my batch.

What a huge promise I made. What if I'm biting more than I can chew? Stop thinking of these negative thoughts, Alexia! You're smart and you shouldn't ever doubt yourself, I silently scolded myself. I heaved a deep sigh and continued writing.

"Times up! Put your pens down!" the invigilator announced.

I did as I was told and let go of my breath. Two down, two to go. Our papers were collected and we were allowed to leave the room. Talia, Erica, Zenia and I gathered and discussed the paper. "How was it?"

"Terrible," Erica sighed dramatically.

"It's kind of hard," Zenia added.

"I'm not sure if I'm going to ace this test," Talia said.

"I'm... sure we'll be fine," I murmured. Perhaps it's not the best idea to tell them that the paper was quite easy for me, considering I was supposed to think it's harder than they do.

They shrugged and we changed the topic. Of course, we all know what their favourite topic is. "How are things between you and Matteo Knight?" Talia asked.

Of course.

"We're friends," I replied.

"Come on, Lexie. You've got to admit that there's a spark! You two have such good chemistry and I'm saying it based on those few times I saw you two interact. It's like Jake and Amy... or Captain America and Black Widow," she insisted.

"Oh, come on!" I shouted. "Cap and Nat were never together! They have some sort of sibling relationship. It's like the actors in real life. They're just friends."

Talia shrugged. "Well, you ship them too."

"I outgrew that nonsense," I huffed. She gave me a blank look. I rolled my eyes and sighed, "Okay, fine. I ship Captain America and Black Widow but that's a different story! They kissed. Matteo and I never kissed."

"They kissed to keep their cover, just like Jake and Amy! If you two went undercover and were on the verge of getting caught, I'm sure you'll kiss too," she replied, waving me off. "Your point is invalid. Give me something else."

"You two study together! Do you know how cute that is? You never did that with Derek," Erica chipped in while Zenia nodded in agreement.

I groaned. What does it take to let them know that my relationship with Matteo is platonic? "Haha, right. Derek doesn't study. He would rather fool around day and night. Maybe that's why he almost failed his SAT."

"Ooh, sick burn!" Zenia laughed.

I burst into laughter and shook my head. At the corner of my eyes, I saw Matteo walking towards us. I felt Talia's hands holding onto my shoulders from behind as she said, "Ooh, here comes your boyfriend."

"He's not my boyfriend," I retorted with a scowl.

"It doesn't matter. Time to go home together," she chuckled.

I gave her a fake laugh and walked towards him. We hugged and patted each other on our backs. I can picture my best friends squealing internally at this sight. This is so embarrassing. "Hey," I said.

I suddenly thought of something. Back when I was with Derek, it was always me who took the initiative of meeting up. It was always me who would hug him or peck him on the cheek when I saw him. It was always me who initiated conversations.

The only thing he initiates is kisses. How was I blind to all those signs?

"Lunch?" he asked, snapping me out of my thoughts. He looked past me at my friends and continued, "Are they joining?"

"No," I replied. I turned around to glance at them and whispered, "Let's go. They ship us so hard it's so scary. Let's leave before they say any more stupid things."

He chuckled and complied. We had lunch at Bowllin' again. "Finally, we're alone," he said. We can enjoy Korean cuisine on our own, without the interference of my friends. I just knew that he preferred to have lunch with only me.

How long more will it be until he gets sick of me like Derek did?

I pushed that dangerous thought to the back of my mind. I can't think that way. Matteo is my friend. He isn't like that. I know him. He's nice. I shouldn't compare him with Derek. He's his own person. He's sweet and caring. He will never do what Derek did to me.

Didn't you once think you knew Derek too?

I shook that thought off my head. Love is blind. I don't love Matteo so I can't be blind to his actions. He's a neighbour and friend to me. Heck, he's like a brother to me!

"What are you thinking about?" he asked.

"Nothing," I laughed awkwardly and rubbed my hands together.

He eyed me suspiciously but shrugged it off. See how sweet he is. He knows when to stop. I remember Derek trying to get me to sleep with him. I refused but he insisted. I had to kick him in the balls before you stopped.

The only reason I forgave him was that he apologised one hundred times for what he did and promised me that he will never ask me to sleep with him again. Stupid eighteen-year-old me was too in love to break up with him immediately.

And they all think I am a genius.

Look how well that went.

"Open up," Matteo said.

I looked up at him and raised an eyebrow. Keeping a straight face, he pointed at the spoon he was holding and gestured for me to open my mouth. My mouth formed a letter 'O' when I realised what he meant and I did as I was told.

"Ah," he slurred as he fed me chicken.

Derek used to feed me like that. He was a perfect boyfriend until he wasn't. Maybe he was never a perfect boyfriend, but a terrible boyfriend in the disguise of one.

I looked at Matteo who was laughing as I was chewing on the food he just fed me. I can't help but laugh along with him. His laugh is just so infectious. I'm so lucky to have such an awesome brother-like friend and neighbour.

I would have to thank Derek for cheating on me since it was the reason I moved here which led me to meet Matteo. Now that I think about it, it was a blessing in disguise.

I guess everything does happen for a reason.