Fix Me

Chapter 17: Bus

I don't know when I became this fearless, but I was doing it. I was at the hospital making my way to her office. She was on break so I was lucky.

"Come in," said her tired voice from behind the door.

I held my breath and entered. Her eyes narrowed down at me upon realizing my entrance.

"Hello Mrs. Roland, I was just wondering if you had a moment," I asked.

She gave me a long look before sighing and gesturing for me to sit on the chair in front of her desk. 

She didn't kick me out and I hadn't thrown up, so I was off to a good start.

"Speak," she ordered as I awkwardly sat there.

Here goes nothing.

"I-- um-- I wanted to speak to you about Gray. I know you don't like me, but this isn't about me or you, it's about him," I said.

She nodded as if to tell me to carry on.

"It's no secret that you two don't see eye to eye, but Gray needs you in his life and you keep pushing him away," I told her.

"He's the one that's not seeing where I am coming from as a mother," she scowled.

"See there you go blaming him! He's still young, his parents were never at home, he's lonely-"

"So you thought you could fill our place up?" she asked.

"No! Maybe try spending more time with him doing something you both enjoy. Stop forcing him like a puppet, let him live a little," I tried to reason.

"What do you know girl? You are sitting here speaking without knowing anything," she stated.

"You're wrong, for the longest time ever I thought my mom hated me for causing that accident, but Gray showed me she still loved me. It's not fair that I get what I want and Gray doesn't. Just please see things from where he's standing," I said before leaving.

Before I could leave the hospital, a hand landed on my shoulder stopping me.

"Lana child! What are you doing here?" asked Peter, looking slightly worried.

"I was just visiting someone," I replied coolly.

"Listen, I wanted to apologize for what happened at dinner the other night. I know I'm in no place to ask, but please stick with Gray for a little longer. I couldn't be there for him as a father, but I do hope that you can be there for him as a friend at least," he asked with a hopeful expression.

I felt happy knowing that Gray had him as a father even if he wasn't always around, he was still there.

I started making my way home, but before I could make it I got a text from Gray telling me to meet him outside a convenient store. He was already waiting for me when I got there.

"What are we doing?" I asked.

"It's a surprise, put these on," he said giving me a blindfold and earphones. I did as I was told and he I let him guide me to this surprise. We walked to a certain point, waited a bit, took one step up, and took a few steps before sitting. Was I in a restaurant? Why do I feel like I'm slightly vibrating? In a swift motion, Gray took off my blindfold and earphones. I looked around me. I was in a bus. My head whipped so fast to Gray's direction that I swear I had whiplash. My panic attack started to rise. Gray's hands went on either side of my cheeks and then he... kissed me. Before I knew it, my panic attack stopped.

"I did some research and I found that to stop a panic attack you need to stop breathing to regulate your patterns and an effective way was to get kissed, but this technically isn't our first kiss so don't get too bummed. That will happen when you're ready and comfortable," he assured me.

My head was spinning. I didn't know if it was from being on a bus or from the first-not so first-kiss.

"But how could you bring me here? You know the risk!" I yelled.

"Well it technically isn't a car, and you're seated in the back so there shouldn't be a major feel of reliving the accident, maybe if you can get use to busing then you'll be able to get into cars," he explained.

I looked around the bus again, it didn't really bring back any memories of the accident, maybe I had somehow placebo'd myself into associating all vehicles with my panic attacks. Gray really did figure everything out.

"So where are you taking me?" I asked.

"That's still a surprise," he winked. Ugh, more surprises.

We were finally dropped near a bucking track. I made a small prayer thanking god I wore sneakers. We trailed all the way to the top of a hill where I saw the most beautiful scenery ever. The trees, the hills, the sparkling waterfall, the way the sun made it all glow. Absolutely stunning.

"Wow."

"I use to come here with my parents when I was younger, it was the only day of the week we spent as a family," he explained. It was a special spot for him and he trusted me with it.

"Thank you for bringing me here, it means a lot," I said, reaching for his hand.

"You mean a lot," he said with the most serious face ever. I leaned up and hugged him tightly. Gray wrapped his hands around my waist keeping me in place. He started to inch down. Oh my god, I was going to get kissed. This was the first magical kiss he was talking about. Okay... what do I do? I craned my head slightly and within a few moments our lips were touching. It wasn't like the kiss on the bus, this was real and emotional and electric. I lost all senses. So this is what it felt like to be kissed by Gray Roland. This has got to be the best first kiss ever.

We eventually pulled apart. Sadly.

"It's getting late, let's get back before the sun sets," he said, his face still flushed. Was my face flushed? Probably, I turned as red as a tomato when someone said my name.

When we got back home, Gray gave me a goodnight kiss. Everything felt perfect. Was it possible that I, Lana Meyers, Mrs. Bad-Luck, could be living perfectly?

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