Life and Death-1

Open Hearts

I can't wait for you all to meet the rest of Gen's family. They are a mess.

"You gave a little boy some ears." I state as I lean against a wall. Mark is scrubbing out after his probono surgery.

"Are you shocked?" I shake my head.

"It's the part I love about you. You're selfless when it matters."

"Where do we stand?"

"I can't deny the connection we have with each other. It's something I've been fighting against from the moment you've come to Seattle. I...I'm trying to protect my heart but...I'm not that fragile. I'm just afraid."

"Then don't be afraid." Mark reaches out for me and I allow him to hold my hand. He pulls me close to him and I find myself resting my hands on his chest. "Let's start over together. Not forgetting the pain that I caused you. I...I can never say I'm sorry enough to make up for what I've done. I..."

"I'm scared you'll make me weak Mark." I look up at him with tears in my eyes. "I don't want to be weak. All I felt when my mother placed me in rehab was weak. I don't want to feel that way." Mark places his hand underneath my chin.

"Let me prove myself to you. I'll do whatever it takes to make you realize I'm a changed man."

"I don't want to be a changed man. I want you to be the man I love with a little less wandering eye." I chuckle as I find myself leaning in closer to him.

"I can be that. For you, I can be that." Mark starts to lean down and I begin to lean up. Our lips are a millimeter apart and I stop myself. "Don't overthink it." I almost feel Mark's lips on mine.

"I want too. I really do."

"Then let go."

"I need time and I don't expect you to wait for me. I just...if I jump into this with you right now I will be the one breaking your heart. And I can't do that. I can't break your heart." Mark smiles down at me and it makes me feel all giddy inside. Mark takes my hand and places it over his heart. I feel his heartbeat and I find mine coming in sync with his.

"Why don't you keep my heart for safekeeping."

"Mark..."

"You'll have my heart always." He bends down and for a second I thought he was going to kiss me but instead his lips touch my cheek.

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"Okay, what are your other symptoms?" Cristina asks Meredith. Last night I called Cristina worried about Meredith since she's been screaming in her sleep. Cristina had us over for takeout and to speak about what's really bothering Meredith ever since she's ended things with Derek.

"Okay, there's the father thing..."

"Mm-hmm."

"The mother thing, the sister thing...mm, the dying-and-coming-back to life thing."

"You have too many things."

"I can't sleep. I can't sleep without the dreaming."

"And the panic attacks." I remind Meredith and she nods her head.

"One. One panic attack." Meredith corrects me.

"Okay, still." Cristina states and Meredith turns her head to look at us.

"What's wrong with me?"

"As far as I can tell, severe abandonment issues."

"That's crap. Psych is crap. Issues?"

"I mean it's i...it's in the book. The book said it not me." Cristina defends.

"Have you considered I don't maybe you and Derek should...stop having breakup sex?" I ask Meredith. She gives me a look and I nod my head.