The reasons I adore you

Chapter 60

Two muddlehead girls

A week has gone by in a flash, those weeks are filled with doubt and annoyance plus, my whole body seemed to be covered in goosebumps all day long.

Wei Xiu was...there.

Always.

I don't think I'll ever feel comfortable at his blatant and continuous staring especially how every corner of my room reminds me of his actions in the past week.

I just can't act like it's normal and do things casually like nothing has happened. It's hard, so hard since he lives here, in our house. So I really don't have a choice to avoid him since he's here living with us.

I think my parents have finally caught up on his unusual behavior. I got down the stairs only to find out that the conversation has ended with my parents relieved faces and Wei Xiu's calm one.

I wonder what they talked about.

Anyway, school happened and just messed up my already messed up mind. There are some times where I feel like I'm floating in a cloud and was sometimes reprimanded by my teachers for not focusing on their lecture.

And the weird things is that Feng Mian whose mind was always focused on the lecture in the past has now changed.

And it's not a good change.

One of our teachers just happened to see the two of us staring off into space and when he called our names, the two of us can only stare at him in confusion.

She, Feng Mian, was also sent outside of the class along with me. It was surprising to say the least, she was always focusing since she have this goal to always have higher grades and to see that her focus on studying had deviated, it's fishy.

"Feng Mian, answer me with honesty, what happened to you?"

She seemed taken aback and opened and closed her mouth like a fish. I waited for her response and she can only sigh in distress.

"Something...well...someone c-confessed to m-me"

I reacted half a beat later, I too was surprised at her revelation. My mind felt like it was thrown into a nuclear bombing place and has now turned into pieces.

I couldn't think of any normal thing to say so I just responded.

"Oh"

The two of us met eyes and sighed at the same time. I haven't told her that I too, was confessed. If she knew that I was confessed too, she would loose her mind.

Especially if she knew who confessed.

Her soul would fly out of earth and leave space. Definitely. So I stayed silent and just looked at the white walls in front of us. I can hear my classmates chatter while the two of us were deep in our thoughts.

...

She stood there with her hands interlock with each other. Her eyes were filled with nervousness and her body stiff from tension.

She waited for about ten minutes before he appeared.

"Why did you call-"

"Please forget about it"

His eyes showed surprise before it morphed into understanding. He lowered his head and then looked at her straight in the eye.

"I can't" he whispered underneath his breath then repeated it for her to hear. "I just can't Feng Mian"

It was the first time she heard him saying her name with such seriousness. He almost look sad, no, he is sad. His while figure stiffen in tension as he awaited for my next words.

It baffles her but she toss her curiousity away, she needs to stop this.

Those tension, ambiguous feelings and the...the kiss...it shouldn't have happened.

It shouldn't have.

But it did.

She regret it yet her heart knew that she didn't.

She's just afraid, she was always afraid when it comes to facing her own feelings. She have a lot on her plate, she still needs to achieve her goals in order for her parents to allow her to live the life she wanted.

She doesn't need this.

She can't.

"Nothing happened between us and nothing will ever happen again. Forget this matter and do not let it pass your lips" she said with a grave tone, her words weren't just for him but for her.

It's a reminder for her.

To not loose herself into this myriads of feelings, that it's just a phase and it will lose its significance once he saw someone better than her.

It's always the same.

This is not a movie, she's not the goody good shoes that is kind in nature and have a goddess like face.

She will always be replaced with someone better.

It's the cold harsh truth.

She's not someone who can't live without someone's love.

She won't let herself be hurt.

She can't.

"And if I don't?"

His eyes were filled with sorrow, his lips drawn into a thin line as his hands fisted into his pants. He was holding himself back, he knew he can't just demand her to become his.

She obviously needs time and so does he.

But he can't.

He just can't force himself to forget, he can't even imagine a life without her.

He can't lose her.

She looked him in the eye and with an earnest tone she said.

"Then I will hate you for the rest of my life"

***
Hi people! How are you in this rainy day?! Oh my gosh! It's raining and I'm totally in love with this day!!!

Thank you so, so much for all the comments and votes! I really appreciate them!

I hope you are all safe and healthy!

Please do VOTE.COMMENT.SHARE.

Thank you!