Incapable of Love | IwaOiKage

Cuts

⚠️WARNING⚠️
MENTIONS OF SELF HARM (I sincerely apologise if I accidentally triggered anyone, I put a trigger warning in my draft but i guess it didn't appear here how did I not notice again IM SO SORRY)

———

Tobio grabbed his jacket, his house keys and ran towards his father's (his now???) house. It was pretty far, but Tobio could handle it. Maybe. The closer he got, the more tired he felt. He read that the closer your soulmates, the heavier the wall will be. But Tobio didn't know it was this heavy.

———

Tobio had eight years of freedom from his mother's judging aura. He almost forgot how it felt. Until the day he found his soulmates. And the day his mother was named custody. The verbal abuse was a constant. It was worse when Nobu wasn't there.

"You failed all your classes again?! Tobio. I'm already sparing you. How would Kaito feel if he saw this? He'd be disappointed. Now go to your room. I swear, if only your guitar skills were as good as your studies. You're lucky I don't feel like hitting you."

She never actually hit him, yet sometimes she nearly does. It made Tobio feel guilty when he wasn't hit.

I should be punished. I was wrong. Papa would be disappointed. You're such a failure, Tobio. No wonder you can't love. You're unlovable. You should be thankful that your soulmates rejected you, you can't cause them harm anymore.

An F in English. Cut

Missed a guitar class. Cut

Read the writing on his skin that isn't for him. Cut

Yelled at a teacher. Cut

Asked for extra food money. Cut

Complained for being hungry. Cut

Wasted money by buying new clothes because the old ones were too big. Cut

Failure to successfully hide weight loss from the teachers. Cut

Tobio knows he should stop, but it removed the guilt he felt deep in his heart.

———

Oikawa saw Tobio arrive, panting and huffing. "I-I'm here..." Tobio managed to muttered out. "Where were you, Tobio-chan? Did you sneak out?" Oikawa gasped dramatically. "My, my Tobio-chan, what kind of a king breaks his own laws?" Oikawa smirked. Panting, Tobio tried to glare but his stomach churned and he vomited.

Water.

He vomited water.

Just water.

"Kageyama, are you ok?" Hajime spoke up. "Y-yeah... I'm good..." Tobio staggered to the door, opening it. He hasn't been there since the last middle school match, and well, things happened. The place was clean, save for the the dust covering the shelves. "Sorry for the intrusion", the elder boys said, Oikawa more of a mumble.

They sat awkwardly silent. Tobio was stuck in his head, why are they here? Is it because the wall fell down? But it was an accident!! And I apologized twice....

"Have you eaten?" Iwaizumi spoke up. Tobio was surprised by the sudden question. Has he eaten? He ate an apple for breakfast, but that was about it. He hasn't eaten anything after the match, even though he fainted. He didn't have the time and even if he did, he didn't have any money. But.... he didn't want to be a burden. Tobio nodded, not very convincing.

"Really-?" "Cut the crap, Tobio-chan. You vomited water! You haven't had dinner, have you? God, did you even eat anything today?! What kind of an athlete are you?! Do you even care for your health??!! When the wall fell, the key broke. IT FUCKING BROKE-" Oikawa was cut of by Iwaizumi. "Tooru."

Oikawa turned to face Iwaizumi, ready to yell "what?!" but Iwaizumi wasn't looking at him. Oikawa followed his gaze.

Tobio was sitting, knees to chest, the palms of his hands to his ears, shaking and silent.

Very silent.

"Kageyama...?" Iwaizumi whispered. Tobio flinched. The elder boys locked eyes, and Oikawa stepped forward. Tobio pressed his palms tighter to his ears. He started mumbling something. Oikawa strained his ears, trying to pick up what Tobio was saying.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry"

"Tobio-chan?" Tobio opened his eyes. "Why are you here..? Cause if you just want to yell at me I think you should go.... please." The ace gave his setter a look, but stood up. Oikawa followed and Tobio led them out, also discretely grabbing his own stuff. "We just wanted to make sure that you're fine. We're sorry for bothering you", Iwaizumi said softly, a weak smile on his face. Tobio watched as the two figures retreated to where they came from and as soon as they were out of sight, Tobio locked the door and walked back to his mom's house.

———

They walked in silence. The night was quiet, only the gravel under their feet filling the air. "What... what was that?" Tooru spoke up. "I'm not sure..." was all Hajime could reply with. To Hajime, Kageyama seemed so vulnerable then, the tough aura he has on court stripped away. He looked fragile, and Hajime didn't let the slightly smudged make up on his wrists out of his mind. Truthfully, he just wanted to check up on the young crow. The incident a few months ago made Hajime worried for Kageyama's mental state. He didn't expect to see his former kouhai shaking like that.

Hajime glanced at his lover, seemingly lost in thought. Hajime let out a sigh. He knew Tooru was worried too, but he handled his emotions wrong. Hajime knows he rejected Tobio, but he can't help but feel guilty. He cares for the kid, whether he knows it or not.