Back to Me (Book Three ✓)

four

EMMA

The party continues well into the evening, becoming more intimidate with each hour that passes until it's just Adam, David, Nadine, Gemma, Connor, and myself, arranged in a circle on the living room floor, snacks and drinks strewn everywhere between us. Gemma's cousin, Laney, snores softly on the sofa behind us, having enjoyed just a bit too much champagne after desert. To be expected really, as she was the same cousin to get drunk at Gemma's sweet sixteen back in high school. Things haven't changed that much, I laugh as Gemma throws back a shot with ease.

Not for the first time tonight, Adam passes the communal wine bottle to me and I discreetly hand it off to David without taking a sip. So far, no one has noticed. I've been clever, hopping up to go to the bathroom or the kitchen at just the right times, holding onto the bottle for a few moments if I'm not able to sneak away. Still, as everyone around me gets tipsier, it's harder and harder to hold off their encouragement.

"Who's down for some more?" Adam jumps to his feet, dangling another empty bottle from his fingers. Hands around the circle shoot up without hesitation. I try my hardest to fade into the background, pushing myself farther into the beanbag chair I've borrowed from Nadine.

"Let's play that card game you showed me," Gemma speaks from her cozy spot in Connor's lap, leaning her sleepy head on his broad shoulder as her eyelids flutter. A twinge of jealousy zaps through me but is replaced with warmth just as quickly.

"I don't think we can handle that much alcohol right now," Connor chuckles, running his hand protectively over Gemma's hair. I breathe a silent exhale of relief before Adam comes back, three more bottles in his arms.

"Come on, party pooper," Adam shoves Connor's shoulder, already setting the bottles in the center of our circle. He reaches behind him and returns shuffling the deck in his hands like a pro.

"Here we go," Nadine murmurs under her breath, giving me a bemused shrug. David scoots himself forward too, so he's only a couple of inches from Nadine's body, following her lead per usual.

Gemma let's out an excited hoot before untangling her limbs from Connors and bringing herself closer into the circle. As Adam begins dealing the cards and going over the rules, I shoot up from the floor abruptly.

"I just need some air," I explain, hoping to keep the panic out of my tone and off of my face. Adam and Gemma in particular stare at me intently, trying to figure out my jumpiness.

I keep my pace deliberate, feeling them all watching me as I slip out of the glass slider and onto the large deck overlooking the lake. The water laps at the shore lazily with the warm breeze blowing against my skin, the gentle chirping of crickets accompanying the soft crashing of the waves.

Feeling the grain of the wood beneath my palms, I stare out over the railing and try to clear my thoughts. There's a rational way to process this, options to consider, choices to make, but I feel paralyzed. For the first time, I physically can't make a decision. And all I can think about is...

The slider door opens again, making me jump and look over my shoulder quickly, composing my features in a hopefully calm expression.

"Miss Emma, mind if I join you?" Nadine saunters out slowly, wrapping her hands around her arms. I smile half heartedly - Nadine has always been easily chilled. "I'm not really a fan of those drinking games, you know. It's been a long time since I've been back here, though. I've missed this view."