Back to Me (Book Three ✓)

eight

BEAU

Sitting on Emma's sofa, I raise her letter in my hand. "Seems like we've got a lot to talk about." My voice is steadier than I feel and I'm glad for that. I don't want Emma to see just how close I am to losing any semblance of cool that I have left. It only took Dex forty five minutes of talking me down on the drive over to get to this point, so I don't want to blow it now.

She stares at me, full lips in a small pout. Crossing her arms over her chest, she tries to cover her body from me. But it only draws my attention to her belly, slightly fuller than when I'd last seen her. The sight makes my stomach drop. Suddenly, Zoey's image flashes in my mind and I blink it away furiously. Just weird timing that my estranged brother and I get our girlfriends pregnant around the same time, that's all.

"Yeah, I guess we do."

The air is thick and cold between us. I hate the way she's looking at me, like she doesn't trust me. She has no reason to, but the glare still burns. If there was any wonder if she might've been happy to be pregnant, the look on her face confirms the exact opposite.

Had I ever envisioned kids with Emma? Hell - having kids at all? I don't know. But I wouldn't have wanted it to happen this way, that's for sure. Coming out of rehab to find out I'm going to be a dad? Not the smoothest transition.

"Talk to me, Em." I nearly beg, trying to soften my expression. I pat the couch beside me, needing her to be closer to me than she is.

She sits on the far end of the couch and instinctually, I reach my hand out to hers to hold. "Don't." She murmurs, halting my movements all together.

"Sorry." I let my hand drop in my own lap and stare straight ahead, chest burning. She was mine and this is my fault. "Old habits and all that,"

"Yeah, well." Emma tucks her legs beneath her, curling as far away from me as she can be. "We can't slip into any old habits this time."

Her brown eyes are wide on my face, making sure that I'm really hearing her. I nod slowly, "I know, I get it."

She nods, too, resting her delicate chin on her knees. She doesn't look straight at me and she's gnawing at her bottom lip relentlessly. I've never seen Emma lose her shit before, but if I've ever seen her come close, this would probably be it.

Her eyes well with tears and she sniffles hard to pretend she's fine. Finally her chin wobbles and she lets out a small whimper, just audible enough to break my heart.

"Oh, Emma." I almost don't reach out to embrace her, but fuck it, I can't watch her hurting and do nothing. Pulling her small frame against my chest, I inhale deeply as she relaxes in my arms, sobbing uncontrollably. My heart flutters against my rib cage having her so close, but I can't stand seeing her so upset. I rock her gently for a few moments, patting her hair down with my fingers.

Her face is nestled into my neck, her lips just touching my skin and I hate myself for letting all of this go.

"We said you and me and fuck everyone else, remember?" I chuckle flatly into her hair, the words seeming like a lifetime ago now. "Still true. Whatever you want to do, I'm here to do it with you."

With a harsh jerk away from me, Emma shoots me a serious glare, despite her red-nosed, blurry eyed sad face. If we were together, I'd pull her back into my arms and keep her close, but now all I can do is lamely let my arms fall to my side.