Phil didn't know where he was going. It was 10:00 am, and he needed someone to cry too. Paige was in class right now, and Connor was in Michigan visiting his dad. Troye was going out with his friend Blake to go get their nails done. He posted something about it on Twitter. Pj was going through his break up, and Phil didn't know where he was. Chris was his only option.
Phil drove to Chris's apartment in a rush. He felt like if he didn't get there fast enough he would just break down in a flurry of tears, and then crash, and die. Luckily, that didn't happen, but he felt awful anyway.
He walked up the stairs, and knocked on the door. It wasn't in a rush, or anything like the way he had driven. His energy seemed to neutralize a bit. He stood there on the verge of tears waiting for Chris to answer, but no one came.
***
Chris and Pj had migrated to Chris's bedroom where they lay shirtless, and furiously making out. Chris's lips start to trail down to the southernmost part of Pj's stomach making Pj groan. Chris then takes Pj's dick into his mouth, and starts to suck gently. Oh, I'm sorry did I forget to mention their lack of pants, and underwear? Excuse me, I'm quite a mess at remembering things. I'm pretty sure that Pj starts to moan Chris's name at this point. Oh yes, and he starts to guide Chris' head with his fingers intertwined in his hair as Chris is deep throating him like a fucking master.
Phil knocks by now, but Pj's a bit loud, and they can't hear him at the door. But, that doesn't mean Phil can't hear them. He suddenly wonders why everyone is in a better relationship than he is as he backs away from the door slowly. He hears Pj yell, "Chris, I'm close!" Phil's eyes widen, and he decides that interrupting that is the last thing he wants to do.
Now forgive me, but I seem to have lost the details of this next part. I'm pretty sure Chris, and Pj have nice, lubey, queer, kinky, butt sex. Oh, rats! I meant LOUD, nice, lubey, queer, kinky butt sex. Always forgetting that...
***
Phil felt lost. Where was he supposed to go? He felt alone. How is he supposed to feel like his old self? He almost fucked a sixteen year old boy. He felt sick to his stomach. Dan meant so much to him. Maybe things would be different if Dan wasn't a virgin, or if he hadn't known him his whole life.
That's when Phil remembered that there was someone to talk to that didn't live to far from here. Someone who would understand.
Tyler.
***
Dan was a sad, confused, crying, naked, baby boy on Phil's bed. He didn't understand why Phil had left. Phil had Dan's consent in the moment to do whatever he wanted with him. So, why was Phil sorry he had touched him? Dan had wanted it. He wanted it right now. He was achingly hard due to earlier events, and he didn't understand why he could be so sad, and aroused at the same time. Eventually, his hard on went away.
That's when he got dressed, and called his mum. He needed to talk to her. He bit his lip as it rang, willing her to answer.
"Hello?" Amelia said.
At the sound of her voice Dan broke into tears.
"Woah. Are you okay, baby?" She asked.
Dan cried harder. "M-mum, I m-miss you." He sniffles.
"What happened?" She says with concern.
Dan doesn't answer he just cries even more sobbing hopelessly into the phone.
"Dan, stop crying like a little bitch, and tell me what's wrong." She said sincerely.
"P-phil." He squeaked out.
"Do you want me to come and get you?" She asks.
"P-please. I need you."
"Okay, I'm coming. I love you." She says.
"I love you too, mum."
Amelia hangs up, and Dan cries some more. Why doesn't Phil want to be with him? Why did he lie?
***
"Oh hey, Phil." Tyler says. "Long time no see."
Phil tries to smile. "I know. I've missed you. I came here because I need to talk to someone."
Tyler smiles. "Well then you came to the right place. Come on in."
Phil walks in slowly, and sits on the couch.
"Make yourself comfortable. I'm going to start the tea." Tyler says. He walks to the kitchen leaving Phil alone to hold back tears for a minute.
Tyler comes back, and sits next too Phil.
"Alright," he says, "Spill."
Phil looks into his eyes ready to explain everything, and then bursts into tears sobbing uncontrollably.
"Woah, that is not what I meant by spill." Tyler says, as he gathers Phil into a hug.
This makes Phil laugh a bit through tears. "I'm sorry." He chokes out.
"Aw, babe don't be sorry for having emotions." Tyler says patting his back.
"Emotions are what make me sorry." Phil says quietly.
"May I ask what has you so emotionally fucked up?" Tyler says.
Phil sighs ready to cry again. "Dan Howell."
"Why?"
"I think I'm in love with him."
"Yeah, and?"
"Wait, why aren't you surprised?"
"Who the fuck would be surprised?"
"Good point."
"Did he reject you or something? That wouldn't make any sense though because he's obsessed with you..."
Phil laughed. "Rejection? No. Quite the opposite actually."
Tyler raised an eyebrow. "I don't understand where the bad part of this fits in."
"Dan is sixteen years old."
Tyler takes a deep inward breath. "So is Troye. Nothing stopped Connor."
Phil can hear that their old relationship still hurts him the way he talks about it.
"I know, but Dan has always been a kid to me. I came this close to having sex with him this morning. I felt gross, Tyler. I still do."
Tyler shakes his head. "Dan is old enough to make his own decisions. He's not a little kid anymore. You may have felt disgusting because you've loved him since he was a child, but he isn't one now, and it's perfectly normal. You keep picturing him as who he used to be not who he is now."
A tear slides down Phil's cheek. "But what if he doesn't love me one day? He's so young he's got an entire future to discover, and I'm scared he'll leave me."
"I've never met two people so scared of losing each other." Tyler whispers.
"Really?"
"Really. Dan won't leave you. Not ever. Just as when you tried to move on, you never stopped loving Dan."
"Tyler, this has to be the longest hug ever." Phil says after some silence.
They both laugh. Tyler finally pulls away when he hears the tea is finished.
"I really hope that this talk helped. Now, will you stay for the tea?" Tyler asks.
Phil nods with a smile. A sincere, happy smile.
Suddenly, he doesn't feel so lost anymore.
YOU ARE READING
Boys Your Age
Fanfiction"What if I was gay?" "I'd fuck you." //Phan I was 13 when I wrote this please feel free to read anything else I wrote down the line, babes.
