I quickly shake my head, which he raises an eye brow to but doesn't question.
He straightens up, never removing his gaze from me before stepping closer, forcing me to step back. He takes another and again, I step away. Seth keeps approaching me, hi...
"Never forget what you are, for surely the world will not. Make it your strength. Then it can never be your weakness. Armour yourself in it, and it will never be used to hurt you." ― George R.R. Martin, A Game of Thrones
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Looking at myself in the bathroom mirror once again I found my eyes searching for all the new imperfections, scars and in general, flaws. It had almost been a week since Faith's funeral. I had yet to return to school. During the day I would sneak off to my sanctuary, hiding there until late. There were few reasons for this. One, I couldn't bare facing normality yet, putting up my usual facade seemed too much effort and I simply had no motivation for much. Another was I knew at some point Seth would come looking for me, and I wasn't wrong. Billy had caught me by the hair when sneaking past the living room on Tuesday night just after 9pm, yelling about how much of a whore I am for leading fuck boys back home now. I had guessed that meant Seth had come knocking for me and instead found Billy. I had wondered how it went but I didn't linger on the thoughts for long. The last reason was that I hoped to avoid Ally as much as possible until I figure out a way to leave him without it going worse than things already are. I imagine he wont take too kindly to loosing his little play thing, but after Faith's funeral and her words from her letter stuck in my mind, I had decided I had to honour her, fulfil her wish and leave my abuser, to try to have a happier life.
Except, I wasn't sure how. All I had figured out was going to either Uni or collage, even then I didn't know where or which course any more. I felt more lost than I had ever felt in my life.
My fingers found their way to the cold metal hanging round my neck, curling round into a tight grip. Looking down at the tags in my hand, my fingers traced the engravings.
'Granger' and '300919932040'. I had pondered over the number but couldn't figure out what it could be. Granger was obviously his last name though, a memory of when I first met him flashing through my mind. He seemed so big and intimidating at first, quite threatening almost. But now? I wasn't sure, he was kind, courteous, selfless, all sorts of traits one visions in their future partners usually.
Shaking off the thought, I drag my eyes away from both the tags and my reflection, no longer wanting to see all the horrible things I know are there and visible. I wrap the towel tightly around me, heaving a sigh as I make the quick journey from bathroom to bedroom. I had forgotten to pick up my clothes before my shower, and as much as I hated running back in just a towel, I had no other choice. Once safely shut in, I quickly changed into the fluff lined leggings, cosy socks, a vest top hidden beneath an oversized jumper – the vest was more so for the extra layer of warmth- before putting on my winter boots. A lot of people tease and made snide remarks about my winter clothing this early on but I always felt so cold, which I hated, so I chose to ignore them and continue with my warmer choice of clothing.
