In The Eye of the Beholder | Jonathan Crane

December 1989

I just want them to know

That I gave my all, did my best

Brought someone some happiness

-I Was Here (Beyonce)

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It was cold. It didn't matter I was living in Georgia. It was December and in December it could get cold. That meant I was cold. I hated being cold.

On days like this, I wouldn't be found beneath my tree. I'd be at home, nestled in at least a dozen blankets and cursing how cold it was. Yet there I was, beneath my tree because I had a Christmas gift for Jonathan Crane. I didn't know if he celebrated Christmas. I didn't celebrate Christmas. I got him something nonetheless.

I wrapped my scarf tighter around my neck. Where was he? I'd asked him if he would meet me here and he'd said yes. So where was he?

He finally showed up about five minutes later. I instantly felt bad about being impatient. His lip was split, and he had a bruise on his cheek.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"I'll be fine. What do you want?" he answered. It came out rather rudely, but I let it slide. He probably never had someone actually want to see him. I glanced warily at his injuries but didn't ask about them.

"This is for you. Merry Christmas," I said while handing him a wrapped package. He took it hesitantly as if he was afraid to touch it.

"Why?"

"I consider us friends and isn't this what friends do?"

"I don't know, I've never had any," he admitted quietly. I sympathized with him. I'd never had a real friend either, as cliche as it sounded.

"Well go on. Open it," I said. He hesitated again before starting to unwrap it. He did so slowly like he was afraid he would break it.

When he finally got it unwrapped and opened, he simply stared at it. In his hands lay a copy of The Complete Works of Washington Irving. It wasn't a new copy, but a second copy I had owned. I watched as he turned it over in his hands.

"It's not new, but it's in better condition than the other one I have. I thought you'd like it because, well, you enjoy reading. And Irving is one of my favorite authors," I explained.

"Thank you," he mumbled. "But I got you nothing."

"I didn't expect you to. I don't celebrate the holiday anyway."

We both stayed in our positions, neither of us moving. I noticed he was wearing a light sweater. He wasn't even shivering. How could he stand the cold?

"Aren't you cold?" I asked.

"No," he answered.

"Well, I am so I'll be off," I said. "Unless you want to come home with me?"

"No. I'll be seeing you in a week," Jonathan softly said. He turned from me and started walking away.

"See you in a week then, I guess. Merry Christmas, Jonathan," I whispered to his retreating form. I hoped he would be fine. I didn't pray. I hoped.

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A/N: Wow, awkward chapter. But I guess that was the feeling I wanted to portray? So I did good? Maybe? Let me know what you think. Don't forget to alert me of mistakes, I know I make them!