Goodbye

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I packed my things as quickly as I could.I was looking myself in the mirror and my eyes caught the necklace which I was wearing.It made my eyes wet remembering me the day he adorned it.I'm not talking about that hospital scene.....
I unfastened the necklace and placed it on the dressing table.Then I let my eyes to wander in the room which brought me the sweetest memories in my life...yeah the sweetest....
I left the room with my suitcase and my hand bag.I was passing his room and automatically my head turned that way.I spined the door nob and entered into the room and stepped in slowly.I seated on the bed and grabbed his pillow.His scent made my heart flutter and my eyes were brimming.I buried my face in the pillow while hugging it tightly.

After about one hour I could finally leave the house with puffy red eyes and a torn heart.How could I let myself to leave that house of memories...I dunno.But I couldn't help myself though.I haven't any idea about where should I go but I picked up a taxi and I could remember I mumbled an address to the driver.My eyes were filled with tears and my heart was aching.I felt like my internal was  collapsing.I couldn't understand myself....am I mad....might be....
The taxi stopped at a place and my mind was busy with its familiarity.....yeah it was my previous home.I unlocked the door and stepped in.My eyes wandered around the house but my heart wasn't seemed like happy to be there.
'Why don't I feel like I'm home....why...???'

....I was seating on the bed hugging my legs.I was tired of feeling lonely and my mind was sick of saying myself that everything would be okay.How would everything be okay when I knew that nothing would be okay.....I felt my eyes gonna wet.I wanted to stop my tears.I bit my lips to the blood but... no....I failed....I am not good at hiding my tears when I'm in alone.But I wanted to hide my feelings even from myself.I knew I was cheating on myself but I couldn't help though.The bitter truth was I MISSED HIM.......

I never knew that GOODBYES are this much painful.....I missed him....that warmth which made me feel protection.....that bright smile which made my day....those sparkling eyes I used to see myself.....those gentle touches.....how would I be able to live without him....I felt like that I wanted something more than breath to survive my life.....I was used to him.....I was addicted to him....my mind my heart even my soul were insisting his presence....

I heard my phone was ringing and yeah it was Jungkook....I didn't pickup the phone.It was ringing while filling the room with one of my favourite songs but in that moment it cracked my heart into pieces.

Geu gin bami neol ttara
Heolleuman ganeun geot gata
I sigani neol ttara heyuryeojineun
Geot gata

Wae meoreojyeo ga wae
Dahji anheul mankeum gaseo
Tell me why meoreojyeo ga why
Ni nuneun-

(The long night is following you as it flows
Time follows you and fades

Why are you getting farther away? So far that I can’t reach you?
Tell me why, you’re so far away, why
Can’t you see-)

I cupped my ears not to feed them with the song but it didn't work.My tears were flowing over my cheeks.I put the phone in silence mode and cried out myself on my palms.

'Why everything makes me wanting you.....why....'

.....I knew he would find me in there easily so I had to find somewhere else to live.I had one more day left so I decided to find out a new place.It was damn cold in outside.I felt like the cold was piercing my bones.

I wasn't unlucky than I thought as finally I could find a place.Even though it was a small place and it was a sharing building I was satisfied with it because I knew that Jungkook would never find me out there.My eyes filled with tears by remembering him.I missed him.

I unlocked the door and entered the house.Then locked the door and turned but I couldn't move.The figure which was standing in front of me could freezed me.My eyes widened and I felt them brimming with tears.My breathing pace increased.My heart began to flutter.I bit my lips to stop my tears.

'Ju....Jungkook....'

Love is not Over _JJK ||CompletedWhere stories live. Discover now