Crazy In Love (Anthony Rizzo)

Bow Your Head to Pray

Anthony

After spending a few days in the southern states we hang out at the farm for a little before returning home. Then we were here for about two weeks before heading to Florida for Christmas. So I had not a lot of time to get presents and get them out to Florida for the holidays, but I'm sure I'll figure it out.

"I miss Uncle Tim" Mallory randomly says as she sits in the cart I was pushing around the store as we look for something to get her mom. I figured I would get her mommys gifts and a idea for something to get her too.

"I miss him too" I agree as I let out a long sigh. I see her looking into her locket at the picture of them and it hurt my heart that he didn't get to make it to Christmas.

"What do you miss most about him" she asks innocently and I smile.

"I miss his sense of humor, there wasn't a situation he couldn't make light hearted. He was the funniest dude I ever met, my stomach hurt from laughing so hard. There's not a minute that I was with him where I wasn't smiling. He really was my best friend, you know? I always wanted to see him do good, see him walking around making his sister mad in a way that only he did. I've never met anyone like him, to be in such a bad situation and still be as light hearted as he was" I say.

"I liked when he let me steal mommy's makeup and put it on him" she smiles and I laugh.

"That's pretty good too" I agree.

"Am I ever going to see him again" she asks and I sigh.

As excited as I am to be a dad, I am not prepared to answer questions like that. I mean what do you tell your kid about losing someone who was always there for them? All they know is that they're not here anymore and they want them to come back but they can't and they don't get why.

"I don't know if you'll ever see him again. I guess it depends on what you believe in" I say.

"Like God" she asks and I look down at her as she waits for me to answer. That's what I meant but that's not what I thought she would say.

"Yeah... like God" I admit.

"Do you believe in God" she wonders and I freeze. I never really thought about it, religion was never really big in my family even though we're from the south. My parents were religious but they let me and my brother come to our own conclusions. We would go to church every once in a while but I couldn't tell you the last time I got down on my knees to pray.

"I don't really know" I admit.

"Well I do" she claims and I look at her weird.

"Why is that" I wondered. I've never heard of her say a thing about God up until now.

"I always prayed every night that I could have a super cool dad who loved me. He would let me stay up to play dolls with him and help me do my hair in the morning when mommy can't. He would be handsome like a prince and kind like one too. And I prayed he would come and make mommy happy.

And now we have you" she says and I feel my heart bang against my chest.

"You think God sent me to you" I ask and she nods.

"Well yeah. Mommy never took me to church but we used to pray together before bed. We would pray that Uncle Tim got better or for things to get easier. Secretly I prayed for you and now you're here" she says with a bit of excitement in her voice.

"Well I'm happy in here, whether it be fate or by chance. I'm so lucky to have you as a daughter" I admit.

After messing around and getting some shopping done we head back to the apartment. She helps me wrap the gifts I had and we put them under the tree we had. Even though we won't be here for Christmas we still took the time to decorate and make the apartment look nice. Once we were all done we chill out on the couch to watch some Christmas movies. She curls up in a ball in my lap and I smile when I see her sitting there watching tv. She was so cute she could just melt your heart by looking at her.

I wrap my arm around her as she moves in closer. I realized how blessed I was that even though she isn't my daughter, that I still have the joy to be able to call her mine. And now I can give her a little sister or brother and we can share our excitement. That little baby is going to be so lucky to have a older sister who loves so hard and cares so much about her family. Mallory can't wait to meet the baby, she wants to share a room so she can have sleepovers when they're old enough. She wants to take it to games and cheer me on alongside her little sibling. I couldn't wait for the baby to come just so I can hold all the people I love the most in my arms at once.

"Are you tired" I ask her and she nods making her blonde curls bounce around. "Let's get you to bed so you can take a nap" I insist.

I softly pick her up and take her to her room. I lay her in bed and tuck her in before turning to leave. Before I can get out she grabs my hand and I stop. I turn around to see her big blue eyes looking at me and realized that I would do anything for her.

"Daddy" she questions softly and I felt like falling to my knees.

"Yeah baby" I reply as I return to her side.

"Can you pray with me" she asks and I smile.

"Of course" I nod.

She claps her hands together and I do too. She closes her eyes and bows her head but I watch her instead.

"Dear lord, please watch over Timothy in heaven. Make sure he's really comfortable and he gets to sit in his spot on the couch. Please help mommy take good pictures and make people happy like she makes me and dad happy. And I would very much like a dog for Christmas. Amen" she finishes. She sits there for a second before opening one of her eyes and looking at me. "Your turn" she insists.

"Oh... well, okay. Dear lord, thank you for blessing me with a amazing wife and a amazing daughter. Please keep us safe as we continue to travel and make Mallory's birthday the best one yet. Amen" I say and she smiles.

I softly kiss her forehead before she settles in. I leave her be and go to clean up the living room. Eventually Melissa comes home and helps me out. I tell her we got some gifts for Christmas and what Mallory asked for. She laughs because Mallory always asks for a dog but her apartment complex didn't allow dogs and I'm not sure mine does either. But I'm sure we can figure it out.

"You know... I prayed with Mallory before her nap" I tell Melissa and she smiles.

"I didn't know she still prayed before sleeping" she admits.

"She has it down pretty well. She still misses Tim like crazy" I say and she sighs.

"I figure she would. That was the only man she knew before you came along. He has a very special place in her heart" she explains.

"Well I'm happy she got to spend some time with him, he's really brought out the good in her" I admit.

"He brought out the good in everything" she claims and I nod my head.

"Very much so" I agree.