Crazy In Love (Anthony Rizzo)

Sorry

Melissa

My what feels like my whole life has been dedicated to Mallory, at least for the past 6 years. Ever since she was born I prided myself in protecting her, keeping her away from the bad and teaching her the good. I never thought I would be in a hospital room with her like this, so mangled up. Her leg in a cast and elevated and a tube down her throat to help her breathe while she slept. Her normally perfect little face almost unrecognizable. They won't wake her up because it would hurt her too much, so they're letting her sleep. She would have to be here for a little while longer but they expect her to be fine in the end. She's healing now and they've done all the surgeries they need, now all we can do is wait.

I walk into her room with some fresh flowers from some guys on the team. They won't let them up to see her until she's awake but I always go down and meet whoever it is who wants to wish her well. I make sure to pass on the messages and thank them for keeping us in their minds.

I see Anthony sitting next to her with her hand in his good one. The tears still in his eyes as he stares with her. The accident was two days ago and he's been like this ever since. I keep telling him that it's not his fault, but he won't listen to me. He hates himself for letting her get hurt. He hates himself for not seeing the car coming and doing something sooner. And I wish there was a way for me to get him to see that shit like this happens but he can't. He's blinded by fear and anger, he won't be able to see anything like that.

"Anthony" I say softly. He slowly looks up to me with tears in his eyes. I can feel my heart break as he stares right through me. "Let's go for a walk" I insist.

"I don't want to leave her" he claims.

"We'll be right back. Plus the doctors will tell us when they're waking her up before they do so" I insist.

I can tell he wanted to stay but he reluctantly lets her hand go and joins me. We walk around side by side silently as we roam the halls. We both kind of just look around not sure of what to say.

"I'm so sorry" he whispers and I stop. I grab his wrist so he would stop too and he looks down at me.

"Will you please stop apologizing" I ask.

"I can't. I really am sorry" he insists.

"It's not your fault" I beg. "That man ran a stop light and he hit you. You tried to stop, you tried to get out of the way. You did what you could to keep this from happening. It's not your fault" I insist.

"Do you realize that if you would have been in that car you would have died? The entire passenger side of my car is nearly gone. You and our baby would have been crushed and killed on impact and I couldn't have saved you. Do you understand how awful that is to know? Because that's all I think about, all I dream about. To think that if you would have stayed home with us or wanted to come look at the animals you wouldn't be here right now. Hell, Mallory could have not been here right now if things were even slightly different.

I was petrified, I was so scared that she was gone. I kept calling her name and she didn't answer. I kept looking back there and she wasn't moving. Her lifeless body was strapped in by the seatbelt and there was blood everywhere. I thought she was dead. I couldn't remember if you were in the car too but you weren't next to me when I woke up and I thought I lost you too. I have never ever in my entire life felt so much pain than when I thought I lost you guys. I wanted to die too if you weren't going to be there with me" he says monotoned. The lack of emotion terrified me as his glassy eyes stared at me.

"Baby you have to listen to me" I say as I cup his cheek. I pull him down a little so he can really look me in the eyes. "I'm not mad at you. No one around here is blaming you but yourself. This situation, it's horrible, but it could have been a lot worse. You're okay and Mallory, shes going to be fine. We're going to get through this but only if you stop being so hard on yourself. Sometimes bad things happen but that doesn't make you a bad guy" I assure him.

"I just want Mallory to wake up and tell me that she loves me. Then I'll know if it's okay or not" he insists and I let out a sigh.

We head back to the room where the doctors were checking up on her. They expect her to wake up by tonight so I guess we will see how bad this all really is in a little.

I try to tell Anthony to go to the game to at least see his friends but he won't leave. He refuses to eat or sleep or do anything until Mallory was awake. So I sit next to him as he rests his head on my shoulder, my hand sat in his lap as he played with my wedding ring on my finger.

Eventually we hear some beeping and we both pop up. Mallory starts to move a little meaning she was finally waking up. I get a nurse and they check on her to see how she's doing. Immediately she starts to ask for me and I wanted to see her but they had to check her first. Make sure that her memory was there and everything else is okay with the head injury she suffered. Once they determined it was good enough they let me see my baby.

"Hey Mal" I say softly as she looks for me. Once she finds my face she smiles a little and it makes my heart happy.

"Hey mommy" she whispers as I sit next her.

"How are you feeling" I ask as I run my fingers through her hair. The best I could at least.

"My legs hurt" she admits and I sigh. They said that she almost lost it but she still had some nerves and ligaments in place. It's just going to take a lot of physical therapy to get her better.

"I know baby, but they're going to take real good care of you. You'll be okay" I promise.

"What about daddy? Is he okay" she asks. I was honestly shocked she remembered all of this.

"Yeah. He's fine. Do you want to see him" I ask and she nods. I wave Anthony over and he stands beside me as he looks down at Mallory. Her little smile grows when she sees him next to me.

"Hey munchkin" Anthony says.

"Hi daddy. Are you okay" she asks Ss he eyes his bandaged head and his arm in a sling and he nods.

"I'm doing fine. How are you feeling" he wonders.

"I'm okay. But I've been better" she admits and we laugh a little.

"Are you mad at me" Anthony asks and Mallory gasps.

"Of course not! I can never be mad at you" she claims.

"But I let you get hurt" he says.

"That's okay. Everyone gets hurt" she shrugs. Such a wise soul she is.

"But I promise that we're going to get you back and riding horses in no time" he promises.

"Well I can't wait" she claims.

The doctors say that she'll be here a few more days in the hospital but given that there's nothing life threatening she will be able to come home soon enough. She's going to be in a lot of casts for a while but she's young so the doctors know she will heal okay. And besides stopping the bleeding in her brain there was no additional surgery to her besides her leg. She's expected to make a full recovery not too far from now.

Eventually she falls back asleep and Anthony and I start to pick up around her room. We're going to have to find a place in the house to put all the flowers and cards at.

"Are you sure you're not mad at me" he asks for the ten millionth time.

"Not at all. In fact I'm thankful that you were there to make sure she was okay. The paramedics told me how you wouldn't leave her. How you wouldn't accept treatment until she did. I really appreciate that, I'm sure she's in a better place because of you" I insist.