To Suffer With

Chapter Twenty - The Way Things Are

It was nice to be back in the cabin, though it was a comment on Roman's mood that he didn't stay outside last night. I was almost offended. I spent most of the night tossing and turning, my thoughts an endless cycle. The way I saw it I had two options. Find a way to convince Roman to find a punishment other than execution for the prisoners. Or I could try and get in contact with the resistance and help them organize a rescue. Since that would probably result in the resistance contact I met getting imprisoned like Kelsey no doubt was, the second option was pretty much off the table. Besides I doubt the resistance would risk a rescue anyway. Which left me stuck with trying to talk to Roman.

I make my way through the doors of the pack house running a nervous hand over my jeans. It's strangely quiet inside, lacking the usual loud and unruly sound of a pack of werewolves. I find myself taking careful hesitant steps in reaction to the silence as if I were trespassing somewhere I wasn't meant to be. The door to Roman's office is closed. I take a deep breath before knocking the sound echoing off the empty hallway.

The door swings open to reveal Brett a look of distaste passes over her face as her eyes settle on me. Behind her I can just make out Roman leaned back on his chair, feet resting lazily on his desk as Harlan stands above him. His eyes don't even flick over in my direction to acknowledge me.

"The Alpha's busy," Brett tells me moving just slightly to the left to block Roman from my view.

I wanted to tell her to piss off and take her smug expression elsewhere, I could feel the anger in me rising encouraging me to do it but I force it down. Getting angry didn't help my cause.

So, I force a smile to appear on my face and muster up my most cheerful tone, "Well I just came here because I'd really like to see him at some point when he's not busy."

Brett doesn't acknowledge my words she just closes the door in my face leaving me standing outside trying to overcome my own disbelief. Was Roman really this angry at me? I thought we had come to an understanding. Although maybe he just didn't want to talk to me because he knew it'd be about the resistance prisoners and that was a conversation he didn't want to have.

I shrug walking away from the closed door trying to remind myself that anger didn't help me here. Besides as far as Roman was concerned I was the one who went behind his back to assist the resistance. I let myself collapse down onto the wooden steps of the porch unsure of what to do. I couldn't take just sitting and thinking. The idea of people dying when I could save them, that just didn't sit right with me.

My eyes are drawn upwards when I hear heavy steps crunch upon the stony path. Cade approaches me with a wary expression probably worried what my reaction to seeing him will be.

"I thought you were still watching Roxy," I comment as he stops awkwardly in front of the steps, seeming unsure if he wants to step past me. Like I am viper waiting to attack.

He runs a nervous hand through his hair, "The Beta came back this morning so I'm just reporting to the Alpha."

"Well I'm sure Roman will be very happy to see you since you did such a fantastic job as a spy," I say my words flung with acid accusation.

Cade shuffles, eyes determined to land anywhere but on me. "Al," he begins anxiously.

I hold up a hand shaking my head, "No sorry. You were just following Roman's orders."

It feels wrong to take my anger out on him when really, I was just upset with myself for being so oblivious. Roman had told me he didn't trust me; I should have known Cade was keeping a close eye on me. But more than that I had somehow managed to make Roman, the person who seemed incapable of being displeased with me, upset with me.