Something Blue

Chapter 19

Sevyn's Stockroom was a foreclosed Blockbuster building. The shelves were unrecognizable now. Old VHS tapes had been replaced with edible underwear, nipple clamps, leather bondage, and various, strangely-shaped silicone items. The sex shop had become a prime business on the college campus.

A bell chimed as Pierce walked through the front door. There were a couple other students wandering around, but Pierce veered toward Hayden. She was sitting behind the cashier's counter, vigorously typing on her laptop.

"Hey, Hayden," he greeted.

"What does semen taste like?"

"Orange cream soda," Pierce answered without thinking. He cleared his throat and added, "Or so I've been told."

Hayden cringed, clearly a Dr. Pepper fan. "Gross." She was thankful she was only attracted to women.

Pierce browsed through the discount bucket, trying to avoid the breast keychains. He considered buying Elliot a dick-patterned lanyard for Christmas, but he decided it wasn't his style.

"Do you have any coconut oil?"

Hayden was still typing when she quipped, "For what? An organic cookie recipe?"

"No," Pierce stressed. "For... mutual comfort."

"Like a lubricant?" Hayden questioned, looking up. "Don't tell me you use coconut oil as lube."

"It smells nice," Pierce defended.

"It can break down latex," Hayden told him. "Making condoms ineffective. It can also cause bacterial vaginosis."

Pierce winced, uncomfortable. He muttered to himself, "I should've gone to Walgreens."

Hayden rolled her eyes, annoyed that she had to pause her writing. "Follow me," she said, leading him down an aisle of dildos. "We have coconut-scented lube. It's better formulated for sex."

The building had faulty ventilation. As they walked, Pierce could feel the random pockets of hot air blowing from the loud air ducts. The linoleum flooring was burned in some places, no doubt from the overactive heater. Pierce convinced himself the stuffy warmth was the reason his face was reddening, not the shelves of anal plugs.

Hayden crouched in front of a display, surveying the options. "How many ounces do you want?"

A lot. "Whatever you have is fine," Pierce rushed.

Hayden grabbed a medium sized bottle. "Need anything else?"

"Actually, yeah," Pierce admitted, fidgeting. "I'm going home for Christmas, okay? And I was wondering if you had anything to... help, or uh...I mean...," He inhaled, wringing his neck. "My hometown is really boring. Do you have anything that would - ?"

"Prevent sexual frustration? Aid masturbation?" Hayden asked, unfazed. She gestured toward the male toys. "Yeah. We have The Pocket Pussy, Mr. Squeeze, The Suck and Tuck Rotator - get the series 3000, trust me. Oh - and we just got new penis pumps in stock."

Each contraption looked terrifying. A giant rubber toy, a foam sock-like thing, and a glorified mini vacuum. He shivered, not even wanting to look at the penis pumps.

"Do you have anything a little more...discrete?"

Hayden contemplated the store's limited inventory, and replied, "Have you tried Anne Rice?"

"Who?"

"The famous smut author."

Pierce wanted the conversation to end. "Forget it."

"Fine," Hayden said. "So just the lube?"

Pierce nodded. "I have a discount sticker."

"Perfect."

Hayden led him back to the front counter. He was thankful he didn't have to spend any more time being surrounded by strap-ons and candy thongs.

After Hayden scanned the QR code she said, "You get to pick out a free prop."

"A what?"

"A prop," she repeated, pointing behind him. "It's part of the promotion. You can choose anything from aisle two."