17. Butterflies

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The warm water running down my body makes my tense muscles relax

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The warm water running down my body makes my tense muscles relax. All thoughts I've been thinking about this whole week was the party. Ever since Mateo invited me my emotions have been all over the place. One moment I'm excited for it and then a minute later I'm scared cause I'm not sure what to expect.

There's many reasons why I don't think it will go well. I don't drink so Mateo will think I'm boring, I don't like talking to new people, and lastly I just stand there just not knowing where to look.

I just have this feeling that something is going to happen. I don't know what it is specifically but if something does happen I hope it's nothing big. Knowing Mateo and Alison are excited that I'm going, I can't cancel on them last minute just because I have a feeling. So it's time to put my big girl pants on and face this party head on.

Who knows what if something happens between Mateo and I? Not that I want something to happen...I mean I do but I don't know. I feel like Mateo and I are more than friends but at the same time we aren't. It's like we're in the middle. We flirt with each other, which I'll say is very bold of me, but nothing has happened ever since the night he stayed.

I went to Alison's once Mateo left and I told her about what happened. The whole watching the movie, the breakdown, and him holding me while I slept. She was very excited for me although I don't why. Some of her words have marked their territory on my mind, "Just give him time Vero. You can obviously tell he's into you. It's all up to him and I'm sure he'll know when the moment is right to ask you to be his girlfriend." She's right. I mean I'm pretty sure Mateo knows I like him, I don't do a good job from hiding it. My cheeks always turn red when I see him, we're always hanging out, and early this week we fell asleep on the phone together.

My thoughts about Mateo are cut off once I start feeling the water turn cold. Shutting off the water, I step out and start to dry myself with a towel. Looking at myself in the mirror I take a deep breath.

This will help me. Going to the party isn't going to change my perspective, I already know that. Maybe just Mateo being there makes me feel better. I turn around and leave the bathroom. Now it's time for the difficult part. What to wear. What do girls today wear at parties? What I definitely know is that I am not going to wear a dress.

As I'm looking for a nice shirt, I stop my movements when I remember a specific shirt I bought a while back. Digging through piles of clothes I find what I'm looking for. It's more of a body suit rather than a shirt but it's pretty cute. It's a white lace bodysuit, not that see through but still cute. I can pair this with a pair of light blue jeans and for shoes it wouldn't look right if I wore sneakers so heels it is.

With that being settled, I change into the outfit and look into the mirror. I don't want to sound conceited but, I look pretty good if I do say so myself.

Continuing my routine of getting ready which is just doing my hair and putting makeup on, the only thing I switch is my makeup. Since it's a party I added a winged liner and put on mascara. There's only certain days I put on mascara for school. Topping off the makeup look with some clear lip gloss, I'm done.

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