My Twisted Mafia

Relief..

I've been crying.. 

ever since I was young I never knew how to deal with my emotions..

So I cried

Today wasn't any different, how the hell was I supposed to absorb the fact that my brother has always loved me?

I never knew.., I just replayed the hurt expression he had when he said

"I also have feelings you know"

I cried more
How could I hurt so much?, I of all people should know how rejection hurts

I guess Ahmed had knelt down and pulled me to his chest..he rubbed soothing circles on my back..

" Cry it all out.." he said in a soothing voice..

Somehow that made the lump in my throat get worse..
I sobbed so hard..

Oh oh wrong move

I felt my chest tighten,I held tight to Ahmed's shirt as if it was the one to take away the pain..
I felt suffocated..
there's no air..
why is there no air?..
I can't breathe..
I started struggling for air,
taking sharp and troubled breath .
With every breath I felt like dying..
I guess Ahmed noticed the change in behavior, I felt him tense

" Isqaar.. damn it! I think she's having an asthma attack " he said..

his voice sounded so far my head was floating..

I'm I dying?

Who is he telling..?

I guess I lost enough energy ..I couldn't fight the pain anymore nor could I keep my eyes open, my grip on Ahmed's shirt loosen. But I could feel him sweeping me off the floor.
I think he's taking me to my room, I felt my body hit a cool soft material.
At a point I didn't feel his presence beside me. After some time I felt my body being wrapped up in something warm, then strong arms pulled me up in a sitting position and leaned in someone's chest..

Still I couldn't make out the sounds..
I just felt so light ..
my breathing muffled, like someone who's about to give up her spirit.
It won't be so bad if I die right now right?,
That's what I've always wanted right?,
Except not anymore..I don't want to die. I'm so scared.
With that I feel more tears running down my cheeks.

And that soothing hand on my back is back.
I felt something on my mouth..

Inhaler..

I was struggling not to die so I'm sure I couldn't even process how to use it anymore.

That's when I felt a hand support my mouth...I took a sharp intake and the hand again shuts my mouth so that I couldn't exhale it
.
Another arm was keeping me upright.

After few inhales ...I gained a bit strength, but still couldn't open my eyes..

The hand let me go, and I guess I was now leaning on the bed head. I felt something prick my arm.

Was there a doctor?

I wondered .

Then I was pulled in again, my head leaning on a..

chest..?

that did it. The injection made the pain go away.. relief washed over me.

I felt weak , but alive.
I felt the soothing circles on my back.

" Breathe Isqaar, you are doing great.."

I heard now voices
becoming more clearer.
I cuddled more..
This was really warm. And nice..
I now took steady breaths..and I now tried to open my eyes.
I sniffed .. rubbing the tears .