Times...

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There were still days when I would re read my father's letter, curl up and cry for hours.
I am told that there were five stages of grief..
At first I thought it was just utter nonsense.

But I experienced it, all of it
Denial,
anger,
bargaining,
depression,
and finally....
acceptance.
This was the most painful part of my life.

When I was in the denial stage I used to shoot up every time the door bell rang ..
Everytime the phone rang..
Everytime I saw someone in white..
It was tough..
It was as if he was everywhere, she was everywhere.
In the anger stage.. I became suicidal.

This is when Jafar thought I should just stay at the hospital.
When I was calm, they let me go
I started bargaining with God.. if he brought them back I'd do anything.
Well it took alot to finally accept the reality.
One day I just woke up and told Jafar

" I'm tired of grieving... I want a fresh start.."

He looked at me like I had grown a second head.

" I want to open up a diner" I said excitedly

Then he pulled me in for a hug.
Since that day I knew that I may have lost alot of people. But God gave me enough.

I had people who always were on my side. And I loved them dearly.

Ian Zachary.
.. Doctor Ian Zachary, been there with me..
for me..
By me..
From the very first day I stepped in that hospital..
Throughout my breakdowns.

" I'll be your psychatrist.." he said in my admission.

I wasn't even looking at him. But that one sentence brought anger in my tummy

" Oh you think I'm crazy.." I snapped at him

The minute I looked at him I wish I didn't. Because he was out of this world.

He had the most blue eyes I've seen..
So far
I could see them through his black rimmed spectacles which fit perfectly giving him both a geeky and cute boy vibe .
His golden curls neatly kept..
He smiled down at me
Wow he's so tall

My words died down my throat

" I don't think you're crazy.. you just need some help" he said

Just like that.
He always knew what to say.

" No Isabelle, I don't think you loved him. He was the only man who gave you some attention..  but it was infatuation. Now try to open your eyes to the world outside Ahmed" he once said

Sooner our sessions were not only in his office..
we'd meet at the park, ice cream parlor, aquarium..
The beach...
And last four days Miami..
I thought we were going for his work.
Turns out,
He just wanted to show me some good time.
He made me so happy that when he asked me to be his girlfriend I jumped on him.
He had held tight that day..
And for the first time
He kissed me.
His kiss was soft.. slow... Warm.
I cursed myself for recalling Ahmed's kiss during our kiss.
It didn't bring all the jitters like Ahmed's but I had already promised to give us a chance.
After all..
It was warm and nice....

" Nice!?...haha..."
I cursed myself for saying that out loud.

" It was good " I said more confidently

" Girl a kiss ain't supposed to be nice.. yo supposed to feel turned on ...or something" Camillá laughed

I rolled my eyes.. we were now in my car after I closed the diner. Giving her lame ass a ride home ..
She kept nagging me about Ian, especially after he dropped by the diner just to say hello and left a peck on my lips..  so I narrated the whole scenario.

" Honestly.. I'm curious.." she said

I looked at her skeptically

" This Ahmed guy.. I jus wanna see him .. like even once" she leaned in her seat..
" And ask him...how the hell got over you" she sighed

I smiled sadly" yeah me too"
I said quietly

After dropping her to her place ,I'm sure she woke the whole neighborhood

" Tell Craig I gotta better dicks in Bahamas than his.." she shouted from her door.

I had to drive so fast like I didn't know her.
" Whatever will I do without you Cami.." I laughed

" You're happy"
I snapped out of my thoughts as I fell on the love seat

" You have no idea.." I said still closing my eyes

" Does this have to do with that nerdy doctor you roam around with.." he asked pure sarcasm in his voice

Honestly, I don't get why Jafar doesn't like Ian. He is like super nice
Very nice.

I looked up at him
" That's enough bad-mouthing my boyfriend Craig "

He laughed " oh you are an item now.."

He wouldn't listen to me he just kept laughing and laughing..

" Camillá is greeting" I said

Well that shut him up

" I honestly don't care what she wants.." he said

" Any message from Naseer?" I asked hopefully

Craig sighed " no.. but soon Issy ..soon "

I rolled my eyes leaving him by the living room.
I freshen up and came down for dinner, I had brought some leftovers from the diner.
I'm sure Craig hadn't had anything to eat.
Since he is working in his gym he never stops by the diner to eat anymore.
His gym is the talk of the Town..
' if you want to be as hot as Craig..go to his gym '
What the hell..
Well people speak..
People talk about it everywhere..
Even in my diner which gets really annoying.
Like I said...
Small town.

" I don't know if I should or should not support you in this relationship" he said after we did the dishes

" Why... He's nice .." I said

" That's the problem Issy.. he's nice... What if he's just doing you a favor" he said.

I sighed.." I never thought of that"

He held my hands .." but if it's what you want.. it's fine"

I smiled gratefully
" Thank you Jafar.." .

But that night ... Nothing stoped me to think about Ian.. was he really in love  with me or ..
He was being nice.

Again..  my thoughts wondered off to particular a hazel eyed monster..
Lime ...
Honey..
I'm falling in love with another guy... Do you even remember me...?

🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼
Hit that 🌟
Iloveya'll ♥️
Blacsola'🖤

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