My Life (sons of anarchy fan fiction)

Chapter 22

Harleys P.O.V

I see Jax walk out when everyone arrives, I turn away and pretend to busy so he won't walk over here. When he passes me to greet everyone I walk over to the couch and talk wIth my brother, Tig, and Happy.

2 hours later I'm still talking and drinking with them they're all a little tipsy. I noticed tonight that Jax has rejected every girl that has made a pass at him. Maybe him and Tara are giving it a honest go. "How do you feel about Jax?" My brother asks me. "That ship has saild a long time ago." I lie. "I think Im just going to go to bed. Love you boys." I said kissing them and walking to my dorm. I walk in and shut the door, I look under my matress to find my journal gone. I look all around my room thinking I miss placed it. My door opens and Jax is standing there with my Journal. "Is this what your looking for?" He asks throwing it on the table. I try and stay calm, he closes the door behind him and asks me something I never wanted him to know about. "Why didn't you tell me you were pregnant." I don't answer. He keeps asking trying to keep his temper down.

Being asked the question so many times I break down and cry. Jax walks over to me and says. "Why didn't you tell me about him?" "I just didnt think it mattered. That night I left Charming and left everything behind was also the night I was gonna leave the memories of you behind. When I found out I was pregnant I took it as a fresh start even if it meant you not being a part of it. I was going to raise Thomas on my own without you being a part of it. I didn't want our child to be told by his father that he didn't matter. Just like you told me that night meant nothing to you at all." I said looking down.

"Fuck Harley I fucking lied to you. I felt what you felt. I still do. Telling you that shit didn't matter I thought was the best idea at the time. I didn't wanna hurt Tara." He said trying to get me to look at him, I snapped my head towards him. "So hurting me was the fucking answer to it all, Jackson. Was it all worth it? You sparing her feelings over mine? You left me in the dark all this time. You wanna know where the scar on my back came from? It's from Tara. Years of countless torture and bullying cause she couldn't stand the fact that you and I are close to each other. Let me rephrase that used to be close to each other." I snapped at him.

"Why didn't you tell me this before?" He asked running his hands down his face. "What would you have done if I did? In all honesty Jax I don't think it would have helped if I did tell you. My best friend would not defend me specially when it came down to that one girl he loved." I laughed bitterly. "I kept my mouth shut all these years. Keeping shit bottled up inside at least one things for sure Jax. Since she came along I didn't matter much to you anymore, and you've proved it to me everytime." I sighed.

"Harley I'm so sorry for all the shit I've put you through." He said looking me in the eye. "No use for apologies now. I've learned to forgive you a long time ago. Just refused to forget." I said as tears tear start to fall. Jax pulls me into his arms when I start crying, I try to push him away. "Jax please just go. I just wanna be alone." I groaned. "No Harley. I should have done this a long time ago." Jax places his hands on my cheeks and kisses me with so much hunger and need I pull away.

"Not again Jax. Please don't do this anymore." I looked down. "Harley I love you. I should have told you this before. Maybe you would have never left Charming or me. Maybe we could have been raising Thomas together." Harley pushes Jax onto the bed and rips his shirt open. "Do you really wnat this Jax? Cause I've wanted this all my life. All I wanted was for you to realize it on your own. To realize that you also love me. Jax it's always been you all this time." "YesI want this Harley. And I only want it with you. If you give me another chance I will make it all up to you, and I'll talk to Tara to end shit with her." Thats all I needed to hear as I reconncected our lips. Soon enough all our clothes were off and It was the best night of my life.